Always present, day and night, 365 days each year, they man the airwaves, offering help, a listening ear and advice to whomever might call.

Taking each phone call with the utmost seriousness, dispatchers are familiar with the sounds of terror, despair and other human emotions. However, included in the job are the unique, humorous and strange stories that sometimes punctuate life in the mountains.

"You have to understand our sense of humor," said a Lake County dispatcher who prefers anonymity. "Because of all the bad things we deal with, you have to find something to make you laugh or smile. It's such a bizarre profession, you have to do something to survive."

Among the calls she's received while on duty are the report of a naked man running down Harrison Avenue, the woman who called 911 emergency wanting to get rid of the spots on her curtains and the Texans who phoned to get a weather report two weeks in the future.

Animals also figure into this dispatcher's memoirs, including the couple who hit an elk while driving on Highway 91. The motorist called to say his wife was hysterical, asking the dispatcher to send someone to the scene because the animal's severed head was laying on the woman's lap.

"Once I got a call from a woman at the trailer park who said there was an animal in the house," the dispatcher said. "She had the kids on the kitchen table and was screaming from on top of the kitchen counter. She kept throwing water on it, and it sounded like they were being attacked."

When deputies arrived, they found the occupants still atop the furniture. There was no animal in sight until a mouse ran into the middle of the floor, provoking more screams from the distraught woman.

Diana Holte has 13 years of experience in the dispatch office. Standing out in her recollection was the Leadville resident who called 911 to ask if she could wear her bikini top on Harrison Avenue during the annual Boom Days celebration.

Whether it's a report of a rollover accident at Safeway that turned out to be just an overturned grocery cart, the call describing strange red, orange and blue lights hovering over the waters of Turquoise Lake before disappearing, or the offer of a date and a meal by a pilot who wanted the airport runway cleared of snow, there are just enough curious calls to keep a dispatcher's shift interesting.

John Stewart has worked for more than three years behind the Lake County dispatch desk. He says he tries not to take any call lightly because most every situation is serious to the caller. While he admits that many phone inquiries can be frustrating, some are mighty curious.

"One of my favorites is the call saying "Is the sheriff there?,'" to which Stewart answered in the negative.

""Then how about the undersheriff?,'" the caller inquired

When the dispatcher said the undersheriff was not there either, Stewart asked if he could be of assistance. The voice on the other end proceeded to ask what the roads were like on Fremont Pass.

Most humorous, Steward added, are the visitors who call dispatch in January wanting to drive over either Mosquito or Independence passes. On other occasions, callers phoned in to report people disappearing in the water diversion tunnel above Twin Lakes and never coming out, or to report gunshots that later turned out to be icicles falling from electric wires.

"It's hard to think of something humorous because it's all so serious," Stewart said.