Town Talk Towers

Skier-car Crisis

What to do with all those cars, skiers and snowboarders inconveniently driving up to the mountains ...

Vail is again grappling with this problem, though it never really went away. Last winter, this place was covered in cars. They clung to the sides of the frontage roads, filled outlying lots, bobbed in the creek.

Even this summer it’s been tough to cram a car into either parking garage because of all the hard hats hammering away at Vail’s continuing Renaissance.

Way, way in the future, there are some plans to build some more parking garages. But what can we do in the next few months before ski season starts?

Solution No. 1: Caves. Hollow out parts of the mountain. I bet there’s a lot of room in there. Plus, once skiers and snowboarders stumbled out of the cave, they’d already be on the slopes.

Solution No. 2: Empty second homes. Let skiers and snowboarders park not only in the driveways, but in the living rooms, great rooms, pool rooms and guestrooms of empty second homes. There’s lots of room.

Solution No. 3: We’re so three-dimensional. We have to think four, five and even six dimensions. That way, several cars could be parking in the same spot in the parking garages. Plus, skiers and snowboarders parking in the fifth dimension, for example, would presumably also be skiing in that dimension. That means shorter lift lines on each astral plane.

Scum Alert

Be careful when donating to the Thrifty Store in Eagle! On Saturday, someone stole two bins of short-sleeve and sleeveless shirts from the bed of my pickup while I was donating other items. This was my entire wardrobe of summer shirts. I am knee-deep in medical bills due to three back surgeries the past three years and would really appreciate these items being returned. Please call 970-331-3845 with any information — no questions asked.