There are so many odd things taking place in the world right now that I truly do not understand.
Take, for instance, the beautiful new Edwards welcome sign in the middle of the largest roundabout. Tastefully done, nicely positioned, and 100 percent blocked from ever being seen by anyone because of the one-way sign placed directly in front of it.
Maybe it's the density level of my brain activity, but I just don't get it.
Same for the current state of the Republican Party and their shotgun approach for choosing a candidate to challenge Obama, which apparently is causing them to implode faster than an all-girl school in Kabul.
The elephants have this perfect storm of opportunity to take back the White House, yet are channeling Zeus to toss lightning bolts of criticism at one another over whose version of magic is less unbelievable.
Yep, a very vocal segment of the GOP refuses to support Romney because he is - for lack of a better term - a Mormon, and Mormons are a cult and don't believe in the same version of Jesus.
I claim loyalty to neither side, but Romney seems like a nice enough, well-informed, well-intentioned potential leader with his heart in the right place. To be poo-poo'd as a candidate for such a superficial reason seems so ... superficial.
(Note: the previous paragraph should not be construed as an endorsement of any kind, after all, the man still pretends to not believe in evolution from time to time in order to placate a particular crowd ... I'm just sayin'.)
Anyway, and then Herman Cain, who never had to actually climb the popularity ladder (he just had to wait on the bottom rung while the others fell), announces his 9-9-9 plan, and has Michelle Bachmann turn it upside down to make it 666, thus imbuing the plan with some sort of evil magic worthy of a Linda Blair head spin.
Somebody please get this poor woman a muzzle.
The only 9-9-9 American's hear is spelled "nein-nein-nein" and shouted by Col. Klink during re-runs as he answers Sgt. Schultz about his request to let Hogan out of the cooler.
This continued lip service to the incredibly shrinking religious right is an embarrassing waste of time, and I hate to point out the obvious, but according to Article VI of our Constitution one does not have to believe in any sort of magic to be elected. Rational thought and critical reasoning are all that's required (along with U.S. citizenship, of course).
Meanwhile, Rick Perry isn't about to allow anything (especially not Mrs. Perry) to get in the way of his downward spiral, Rick Santorum is busy planning Google attacks, Newt Gingrich is occupied buying jewelry on credit and Jon Huntsman is confused over why he cannot support science.
Oh, and Ron Paul is just flat out ignored.
Come on, boys and girls on the right, get your steer guano together, otherwise all you are achieving is a guarantee of four more years of Obama change.
And hasn't that been odd enough already?
Richard Carnes, of Edwards, writes weekly. He can be reached at email@example.com.