GYPSUM - OK, get it out of your system, everyone.
"Omigosh, they killed Kenny" and "Sweeeet."
Vail Christian 8-man football knocked off South Park, 46-0, in its Central League opener Saturday at Eagle Valley in Gypsum.
Feel free to reveal you inner Cartman. (Actually, please don't.)
The Saints dropped 40 points on the Burros - no, they're not the Stans - in the first quarter alone. Vail Christian quarterback Austin Ellsworth hooked up with Branden Currey for a 70-yard touchdown on the team's first play. Mack Cooper then ran for a 79-yard touchdown.
Gunnar Hamina picked up a safety by dumping South Park's quarterback in the end zone. Ellsworth had touchdown passes to Alex Davis and Michael Lange. Max Schramm recovered a fumble on the Burros' 2, and Ellsworth ran for a score to end the first quarter.
For good measure, Currey had a pick-six in the fourth quarter. Ethan Ellsworth racked up 16 tackles defensively.
Vail Christian is 4-0 overall and 1-0 in the Central, but now comes the tough part of the schedule. First up is a road game at Soroco Friday.
"We're going to play a great Soroco team Friday night," Vail Christian coach Tim Pierson said. "I think we'll find out about ourselves as we get tested. We need to keep scoring points. We need to keep playing solid defense. We just need to get better every week."
Devils ding Delta
DELTA - Eagle Valley soccer had all of 10 varsity players and two JV athletes for its game Saturday at Delta.
And that made for a very gritty 3-2 win for Eagle Valley.
"Pretty much the same team for 80 minutes," Devils coach Bratzo Horruitiner said. "They put their full heart into it. We started compact on defense and were a little more aggressive in recouping the ball and moving it up."
Dalton Hill to Alan Caraveo was the game-winner with 12 minutes left. Caraveo also scored earlier in the game, as did Noel Ruiz.
Eagle Valley (3-5) is at Steamboat Springs Tuesday.
VMS blanks CRMS
EAST VAIL - Three goals equaled three points Saturday for Vail Mountain School soccer at storied Bandoni Alumni Field in East Vail.
The Gore Rangers blanked the Colorado Rocky Mountain School, 3-0, to raise their 3A Slope record to 2-0. Let the orange dreaming begin. For the uninitiated, VMS wears orange jerseys in the postseason.
While it's definitely early for that, VMS looked sharp in raising its overall record to 3-3-1.
"They're really playing like a team," VMS coach J.D. Caldwell said. "It's a lot of fun to watch. They're playing with tenacity."
Tessie Holguin scored VMS' first with an assist from Ryan Schmidt. Ben Hymes got the next two assists, feeding Clay Bugloni and Garret Cerny.
VMS hosts Basalt Tuesday at 4 p.m. in a nonconference game.
Saints win in five
HAYDEN - It wasn't pretty, but the end result was a thing of beauty.
Vail Christian volleyball's Kyra Webb, one of the team's two setters, hurt her knee earlier this week. That forced the Saints to scramble with their system, but it turned out well in a 17-25, 14-25, 25-20, 25-21,15-11 at Hayden Saturday.
"We had to go to a 5-1 with Grace (McGuckin)," Vail Christian coach Cathy Alexander said. "We switched up the hitters after the second game, and it worked. We've been in tight games against Rangely and (Vail Mountain), but we couldn't get over the hump. We did it against Hayden. It wasn't pretty, but it was a team thing."
Vail Christian (4-5) is at Paonia Tuesday.
VMS edges North Park
EAST VAIL - Tuesday is 80s Night at the Vail Mountain school, so we expect that Vail Mountain School coach Mike Garvey and Battle Mountain coach Jason Fitzgerald will be wearing their old Members Only jackets.
In the meantime, VMS got ready by dispatching North Park in five games Saturday. The Gore Rangers overcame three serving errors to win the fifth game, 15-13.
"North Park was a surprisingly strong team, which was a benefit for us," Garvey said. "In the end, it came down to execution. All 10 of our players worked together."
VMS (4-3, 2-2) hosts the Huskies Tuesday.
Sports Editor Chris Freud can be reached at 970-748-2934 or email@example.com.