Read the headline again, close your eyes, and then say to yourself (or out loud if at Starbucks), "Thank you, Richard. I needed something pleasant to take my mind off all that other crap today."
You are welcome.
Indeed, it is a fitting day for random thoughts:
- Is everybody aware that the most embarrassing figure to ever flaunt other people's money in Happy Valley was recently released from jail?
Yep, Alberto Vilar, the poster child (pre-Madoff) for the lead up to the worst financial disaster our nation has seen since the Depression, was accused of cheating investors out of $22 million and convicted in 2008 on 12 counts of securities fraud, wire fraud and money laundering, and sentenced to nine years in prison.
He has been quoted as saying, "I think that's extremely gracious of them," in response to the Vail Performing Arts Center in Beaver Creek retaining his name.
Whoa, did I say Vail? I meant Vilar, sorry.
Personally I think it's an embarrassment and a slap in the face to those he fleeced.
- Hey, I wonder how many tea party members along the East Coast refused rescue help from Sandy due to their personal convictions against government assistance.
"Get off my lawn, FEMA!"
"But sir, your lawn is under four feet of water, you have no electricity, gas or potable water, and all of your perishable food has perished. We can take you to safety and provide food and shelter for a few days to help."
"Wait ... what? No, no, NO! (shakes head vigorously) Martha, get me my gun!"
"Oh, Henry dear, don't you remember it floated out the back door yesterday."
"Um, hey, do I get a check if we come with you?"
- What do some people have against electric cars? I am amazed how, every once in a while, I still hear someone say, "How much coal was burned to charge your stupid electric car?"
The answer should be obvious. American coal trumps Middle East oil any day.
Besides, why do they appear infatuated with my energy use yet ignore their own?
For what it's worth, I use the solar panels on my house to charge my car, yet if I did use the grid, it would costs less than 2 bucks to fill my empty battery with excited electrons.
Oh, I should also add that I just passed 5,000 miles and have used 21 gallons of gas so far.
- One of the best attributes of Vail is the way it treats celebrities.
Last week one of the highest paid and most recognized baseball players in the world had a nice, leisurely workout at a local gym in Edwards.
He, along with a female companion worthy of picking one's tongue up off the floor, spent an hour or so doing whatever it is people like them do to continue being people like them.
No one asked for an autograph (while I was there), no one gawked, no one bothered the stud and studette at all.
It's just one of those many things that makes Vail a wonderful place to live and visit.
Have fun today, and remember, no matter the results tonight, the sun will still rise out of the east tomorrow, but if you're still disappointed, blame it all on that bitch named Sandy.
Richard Carnes of Edwards writes weekly. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.