VAIL - As Vail strives to become ever-so green and sustainable - although what they're trying to sustain remains a mystery - the town's Powers That Be are positively aglow about their latest sustainability scheme.
Waste of Vail.
"We're proud to sign on as the Waste of Vail signature sponsor," said Vail Moneywagon's Don Jonovan. "And if anyone knows about people and things getting wasted, it's the guy who used to own Jonovan's Big Brass Bar, and who now owns a trash company."
Waste of Vail will combine dumpster diving and the culinary arts. Competitors will be allowed to glean the green from dumpsters behind some of Vail's finest restaurants.
Then they'll prepare a three-course meal. The only pans they'll be able to use are hubcaps they steal from cars in the Village core, and all cooking must be done on an open fire over a subway grate.
"It's a given that the more expensive the car, the better the hubcaps are for cooking," said chef Likin' Kelly.
Last year's Waste of Vail culinary king was local Boy Scout Dudley DooGood, who fashioned a meal for his entire troop when he smacked a wooly mammoth upside the head and it fell into a campfire that he made by rubbing together two tobacco industry lobbyists until they burst into flames.