EAGLE COUNTY — A ring of local parents has been convicted of running a massive counterfeiting ring, printing up funny money to pay their kids’ college tuition.
“We were desperate,” said ringleader G.I. Luvmunney. “These kids have had everything they’ve ever wanted since the day they were born, but it’s not enough.”
Their children have been wooed to sleep to Baby Mozart music and provided the latest in electronic gadgets, including the culture-expanding blues tutorial, “Yo Baby Be a Genius,” which costs more than the gross domestic product of most Third World countries.
“And that was just through preschool. Now they say they want to go on to the first grade,” Luvmunney said.
Enough is enough, he said.
“If we accommodate their every whim, we won’t have enough left to pay the hired help to polish the Bentley,” he said.