Goats on the lam
Ryan Summerlin July 23, 2014
Editor’s Note: Kirk French contributed this report after witnessing the events described
Two goats escaped their pens, Saturday, with no release papers or guest passes.
Kate and Niomi, both of Gypsum, were taking their time moseying down Highway 6 when Deputy Sheriff Cusack came upon them.
“They looked bewildered and confused,” the deputy said. “They kept trying to tell me where they lived, something like ‘baaack there’ or ‘baaack down’ but I couldn’t make it out.”
The goats’ owner, Kendric Wait, was involved with church activities at the time and couldn’t be contacted for comment or translation assistance. However, a well-meaning neighbor, Kirk French, along with a party of other ne’re-do-wells, slowed down at the sight of the deputy sheriff’s bubble lit police car and stopped completely when he saw Kate and Niomi.
“I know those goats!” Mr. French exclaimed. Just then a passerby suggested a forced relocation to the 4H fairgrounds. French protested that proposed solution stating that he himself would take on tracking down the goats’ father.
After speeding up and down various roads in vain, French was finally able to secure the cell number of Wait. Upon returning to the scene of the escape, Kim Schlegel came to the rescue.
“I was about to check on my chickens,” she said. “I saw these poor creatures shackled to the auto parts store sign.”
Schelgel volunteered to take custody and return the goats to their home.
Deputy Cusack sighed with relief, as did French, who was afraid of his band of ne’er-do-wells would insist that he put the goats in the rear of his truck and take them out for a nice breakfast.
The goats were charged with breaking wind and entering a roadway without sufficient paperwork.