A downpour of rain, and opinion | VailDaily.com
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A downpour of rain, and opinion

All I have to do is write an article about how I was finally forced to open my eyes to the dearth of downpours, from that point forward being dedicated to helping the world, nay – the entire Vail Valley, in its never-ending struggle for prioritizing water usage and its related impacts.

Upon publishing, a massive rip will tear through the sky above and the mighty cloud gods will unleash a torrent of wet fury for a solid week, raising the Eagle River from a dreadfully low 10 percent of normal flow all the way to an incredibly high 40 percent of the norm.

I am truly sorry; if I had only known the power of my words.



And come November, just a few days before Thanksgiving, when the annual group of weather pundits gather for the local press and cry, “We ain’t never seen it this dry this time of year before,” then I’ll be sure and write about it.

That way we’ll receive our annual Thanksgiving dump literally minutes before the tourists arrive for turkey and dressing.



Don’t quote me on that, though.

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The Traer Creek folks say that “several national retailing chains” are interested in the soon-to-be-former Wal-Mart location.



But of course, in the interest of “sensitive negotiations,” they shan’t enlighten us as to whom the interested parties might be.

Let’s see, these are the same guys spending a few hundred million converted euros over the next decade or so to make sure that the Village at Avon is successful, and THEY are the ones responsible for finding a new tenant to compete with said Village at Avon.

Hmmmmm.

For starters, we’ll have a Wal-Mart Supercenter and a Home Depot.

So any of the other national chains known to mankind will be welcome with open arms as long as they don’t sell bread, milk, cheese, apples, meat, peanut butter or groceries of any kind, along with toilet paper, paper towels, drugs, vitamins, DVDs, CDs, TVs, stereos, books, clothes, shoes, pens, pencils, paper, batteries, guns, fishing equipment, sporting goods, hunting goods, cleaning supplies, deodorant, hair spray or seasonal gifts.

They also, of course, cannot sell tires, lumber, nails, nail guns, tile, concrete, wheel barrow’s, water hoses, light fixtures, paint, brushes, lawn and garden supplies, plumbing and electrical supplies, kitchen and bath stuff, power tools, flooring, or any other building material of any type whatsoever.

Looks like we’ll be getting yet another restaurant.

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The Vail Chamber and Business Association, that bastion of common sense and goodwill for the local (READ: Vail Only) working man (and woman), has decided to no longer provide free food and beer at Friday evening block parties.

Seems that a few merchants (licensed Vail business owners and therefore VCBA members) are tired of seeing their bread buttered just outside their front doors instead of inside their establishments.

Maybe it’s just me, but I wonder where the folks that used to partake in a free beer and hot dog went after the two-hour block party.

You suppose they scarfed the weenie, downed the brew, and then went home to their tents?

Either way, a trend like this could put an end to SWAG altogether. Beaver Creek will have to stop giving coffee to frozen customers in lift lines for fear of offending Starbucks.

All public water fountains will have to be removed for fear of taking business away from the Deep Rock people.

Giving away all those little American flags at the Fourth of July parade will cease, and of course, so will the candy for fear of offending the candy merchants.

While we’re at it, subsidies for affordable housing should also be reconsidered for fear of offending developers.

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Watching the stream flow levels on the front page of this newspaper is like studying the stock market of the last few months. Day-to-day is shocking but still worthwhile to see, yet the big picture over time is much more relevant to our long-term survival.

nnn

The town of Vail might consider sending over a few good men to do a clandestine search of Dennis Kozlowski’s (former Tyco CEO) three properties in Beaver Creek in order to make up that million dollar deficit. A slimeball like that is bound to have buried some of the loot he allegedly stole from duped investors.

The TOV should also be commended for its consideration of spending almost $3 million for snow melt along Vail’s pedestrian walkways.

The last thing that thousands of tourists spending millions of dollars each winter in order to experience a Vail Winter Wonderland need to walk on is that intrusively cold white stuff officially known as – snow.

Simply brilliant.

Richard Carnes of Edwards can be reached at poor@vail.net


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