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A Family Affair

Chrystal Clear

The family friendyou’ve shared holiday dinners with them, spent summer vacations together and have, through your parents, known about every large milestone in their lives since the day they were born. As a kid you would never entertain the thought of any romantic feelings for them since you considered them practically a sibling, but now that you’re a bit older and have realized that they are in fact, HOT could you reconsider? Should you? After all, they do cover off on all of the major qualities that you’re looking for in someone. Comes from a great family and has similar values check. Gets along well with your family and friends check. Has similar interests and background check. Intelligent, funny and hot check. Sowouldn’t it be SILLY not to explore this person who has been under your nose for all of these years?! Could you ever think of them as more than just a friend? I mean, could the perfect person for you already be practically a family member? Is it worth testing the waters when there’s so much at stake? What happens if things don’t work out between you two and there’s a messy break up?If you’ve found yourself pondering whether or not a life-long friend could be the person for you in the long-term, here are a few things to considerThe pros:You know them well There are no surprises here. You know everything there is to know about each other (which could make this fall under the cons list depending on how you see it). You also know what you’re getting into as far as in-laws go.Fun holidays and vacations You would never have the argument over where you’re going to spend the holidays or whose family your going to go on vacation with. You’d be happy spending time with either family or better yet, you could all vacation together.Great wedding Since your parents have more or less the same friends, the wedding will be a great time and you’ll know everyone there. You won’t have to worry about the groom’s mother feeling slighted by the bride’s mother or any of those other stupid family squabbles that happen when two distant families merge.The cons:Family meddling Can you imagine what your mother’s are going to spend their time gossiping about nowyep, the two of you dating. They’re nosy enough when you’ve dated people they’ve never met. Can you even imagine the amount of prying and questions you will be bombarded with if you start dating their best friend’s child?!The break up – What happens if the two of you have a huge blow-out fight and things are over? Are your mothers the types to get involved or will they respect your relationship enough to butt out? It’s a mother’s instinct to take the side of her child, which could potentially create a difficult relationship between your two mothers.The break up aftermath You are going to have to see and interact with this person for years to come. So if you’re going to go down this road, you have to be willing to frequently see this person if things don’t work out.My suggestions You’ve got to test the waters before diving in, test-drive the car before buying… Why don’t you start hanging out with and talking to them a bit more frequently. This way you can start the “interview” process casually without letting anything get romantic. This way, there’s less damage done if you decide that you two wouldn’t work out after all. Save yourself the awkward family moments down the road and take your time figuring it out.Point of interest: If you decide the family friend isn’t right for you, they very well may have some friends that are! But remember, once you make-out with the family friend, his friends may rule you out forever, so make sure that you know what you’re doing before you’re lip-locked. You don’t want to eliminate this family friend AND all of their friends!Crystal Clear is a socially savvy Vail native who brings a candid female’s opinion and pointers to the Vail Trail. Crystal would love to hear your questions and opinions at crystalclearinvail@yahoo.com.


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