A New Perspective: Spiritual relationships are conscious and clear
Vail CO, Colorado
VAIL, Colorado “-A friend (not in the Vail Valley) called me the other day and wanted to talk about a situation he got himself into regarding relationships. He considers himself to be a spiritual person. He developed a web of relationships that has become uncomfortable. He called to find out how he could get out of it.
The web he wove is that he was in an intimate relationship with a woman with whom he stopped dating but wants to keep as a friend. This has proven to be more difficult than he imagined as she is not willing to let him go enough to be his friend after having an intimate relationship. He has another “friend” that he meets when he goes out dancing. This friend became an intimate partner, just once, which caused the friendship to change.
His “web” is that he continues to ask the first woman over for dinner and parties. The second woman wants to be more than friends and is feeling left out of his life. This has resulted in an uncomfortable situation.
My friend does not need criticism or judgment. He needs understanding that he is as human as the rest of us, no matter how spiritual he feels he is. He needs confirmation that he feels uncomfortable because he needs to heal this issue.
The web is a clear indication of lack of clarity. When we choose to be conscious and clear, there should not be any issues where anyone feels left out, used, or involved when they’re really not. Unconscious choices, and the webs they weave, unbalance our soul. With clarity we can rebalance.
Clarity in relationships is important. If you’re just having sex with someone, then be clear about it. If the other person thinks there’s more to it, then you were not clear. If you just want to be friends, then be clear. If the other person wants more and they are being your friend with hopes of changing your mind, then you need to be clearer. We all know when someone has ulterior motives. Games hurt people. Clarity eliminates games.
Issues with our friends require clarity as well. We will not create uncomfortable webs if we are clear about who we are, what we want, and use loving communication when there are issues between friends. True friends want clarity. Clarity is freedom to be exactly who you are in truth without hurting anyone.
Spiritual relationships require clarity. If you don’t know how to be clear, then be honest about not knowing, but try your best. Spirituality is about making conscious, clear choices. It is about not being afraid that someone won’t like you because of your choices. If you are clear and honest and they don’t like it, then you have to decide if that relationship is one worth hanging onto. If there is a misunderstanding, then it is important to clear it up.
Clarity is about discernment as well. Clarity is not about judging others. When we are clear and someone leaves your life because of it, we let them go (with love). It is about discerning what is best for your soul. It is about being clear within you about what works and what doesn’t without attaching to others’ opinions.
Walk consciously into each relationship. Live each moment consciously. Choose the best for your soul and do your soul-work ” you won’t regret it and you won’t get caught in the woven webs of the unconscious.
Catherine-Zeeb holds a doctorate of philosophy in metaphysics. She has a private therapy practice in-Edwards. You can visit her Web site at http://www.healing-spirits.net.