After dark journey, Eagle author’s choice is ‘Opting In’
“I was staring at the blank Google page and, for the life of me, I could not figure out what to write in the search box. ‘I have hit rock bottom, please help me’ was not bringing the result I was searching for. I felt so far down the rabbit hole that I knew I needed to check myself in somewhere: a mental hospital, rehab or some other 24-hour living facility.
Option two: Give up. Opt out. Kill myself.
Even to me that sounded desperate, but I was desperate.
How did I get here? I wondered vaguely. How did I become so unhappy?”
With that raw emotion, Molly Fiore begins her book “Opting In.”
Her title is more than just words on the cover of her memoir. It reflects the choice she made to opt in to her life, rather than end it.
Fiore’s journey began three years ago.
“From the outside, my life looked amazing. From the inside, I felt awful,” she said.
At the time she was working as the manager of a busy medical practice. She had been married for several years and enjoyed an athletic lifestyle. But her inner turmoil was overwhelming.
“I felt stuck for so long with no one to help,” she said. “I always thought there was a place I could get to where I would be happy.”
But even when she achieved the things that she thought would bring her joy, Fiore found an aching void in her life. “It wasn’t until I went within that I realized I could never find something to make me happy. The search for happiness isn’t external.”
The beginning of that realization happened on the night when she seriously considered suicide.
“I got to the point when I gave myself permission to die. Then I thought ‘If it is okay for me to die, is it okay for me to live?'” says Fiore.
She decided to journal about her feelings and her journey and along the way, writing became a lifeline.
“I always had the idea I wanted to write a book. It was always on my bucket list,” she said.
As the months progressed and she left her job, reconnected with family and examined her marriage, Fiore dedicated herself to finding the life she wanted to live. Journaling was a key part of that experience and eventually she realized that she was actually writing the book she’d always dreamed of creating.
She also realized that her own dark experiences called her to help others out of their despair.
In “Opting In” Fiore is brutally honest about her personal demons and frank about the toll that her journey exacted from the people in her life. But in the end, she notes that her work actually strengthened her relationships, particularly her marriage.
“When I did the work on myself, I showed up in a whole different way in my marriage,” she said. “That’s the big thing. I showed up.”
Fiore admits the candor present in her writing caused angst as she worked toward publication of “Opting In.”
“I was nervous because it is all in here and it is very raw,” she says. “But nothing but love and support came back to me.”
As she publicizes her work, Fiore will be featured in a Lifetime television show called “Balancing Act” slated to air April 27. She is also celebrating a book release party tonight at Paradigms Restaurant in Eagle.
She calls “Opting In” her first book. In addition to writing, Fiore also is a motivational speaker and she works on suicide prevention efforts. She is also a coach, modeled after the people who assisted her journey. Her final words in “Opting In” reflect her commitment.
“I truly wanted to share my story about how I learned to live all out and fully. By sharing my own breakdowns and breakthroughs, maybe I could help others learn for themselves how to stand up and be who they truly are, how to find and follow their soul passions … This is why I am here.”