Ah, the Aspen upheaval | VailDaily.com

Ah, the Aspen upheaval

The reaction was pretty predictable, given the self-righteous nature of Aspen. The Aspen-centric screaming was deafening, but we, The Titans of Town Talk, are always willing to take one for the team, which is Vail.

In the “Us” versus “Them” world, we are “Us.”

One last thing.

Aspen sells T-shirts proclaiming “Vail sucks.”

Vail has no such T-shirt, mostly because to have that sort of low-brow item we’d have to care.

Wonderful Welch

We, the Titans of Town Talk, would like to thank Battle Mountain Queen Bee Linda Welch for loaning us Chris Montoya for the day. We promise we didn’t make him commit any act that doesn’t have a statute of limitations on it. We hear Jeff Gustafson, Sean Thul, and some of the other kids went to visit architects, which isn’t NEARLY as interesting as being irresponsible and mean in print, because all the architects do is sharpen pencils all day. Emma Farrell got to shadow a Vail police officer. That’s be fine, as long as they took her to the shooting range and let her exercise her 2nd Amendment rights by shooting enormously large weapons and make a massive noise – all in the name of keeping the peace. They’re all part of Battle Mountain’s Critical Skills class, which teaches these bright, young people that communication skills are the key to enormous wealth and power, which, of course, they will only use for good – right after they buy themselves a Ferrari.

P.S. The Battle Mountain Husky gentlemen students said they absolutely LOVE Battle Mountain Principal Mr. Bullock, and his imperial edict that no hats be worn inside. They’re sure this will help them become better citizens and increase their earning power.

Really. They said that. With sincerity.

Movin’ right along.

God loves a Harley

The Eagle Valley Christian Academy (EVCA) is providing academic excellence for pre-K through 8th grade, and now wants to help provide automotive excellence. That’s why they’re raffling off a Harley-Davidson motorcycle FXSTC Softail Custom in creampuff condition ($17,000 value). Second prize is a vacation package at Big Horn Resort in Wyoming ($1,000 value), and third prize is for a custom piece of Alpine Gold Jewelry, Beaver Creek ($450 value). Tickets are being sold at the school on Highway 6 in Eagle-Vail (Vail Bible Church), the Minturn Market and various other venues. You can also get tickets by mailing a check or money order to EVCA, PO Box 1980, Avon, CO 81620.

Ticket prices are $30 for one or $150 for a six-pack. The drawing will be held at the school on Dec. 21 at 7:30 p.m.

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