Air Hooters? |

Air Hooters?

We have here for your reading pleasure a draft of our letter to The Powers That Be. It goes like this.

Federal Aviation Administration

800 Independence Avenue S.W.

Washington DC 20591

Dear Sirs:

Participate in The Longevity Project

The Longevity Project is an annual campaign to help educate readers about what it takes to live a long, fulfilling life in our valley. This year Kevin shares his story of hope and celebration of life with his presentation Cracked, Not Broken as we explore the critical and relevant topic of mental health.

We have the solution for the prevention of hijackings and at the same time getting our airline industry back on its feet.

Since men of the Muslim religion are not allowed to look at naked women we should replace all of our female flight attendants with strippers.

Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing a naked woman. And of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again in hope of seeing a naked woman.

We would have no more hijackings, and the airline industry would have record sales.


The Titans of Town Talk

Movin’ right along

“Minimum Wage” madness

The world premiere of film “Minimum Wage,” written and directed by local film stud Jonathan Bricklin, is 3:30 p.m. Saturday at the Vilar Center in Beaver Creek. It’s $5 to get in: a small price to pay for witnessing the dawn of a classic. Go there. Be entertained.

Rodeo R us

If you’re not going Oktober Festering in Vail this weekend, spend a little time improving your western vocabulary by stomping your Tony Lamas around the Eagle County fairgrounds for the Colorado Pro Rodeo Association’s Finals Rodeo. These are genuine, bonafide cowpersons doing incredible things with farm animals. Performances are 1 p.m. Saturday and Sunday. There’s a dance Saturday night, featuring dance steps that even you can do. Tickets are $5 for adults, $2 for kids, and little kids are free.

Your joke du jour

While enjoying an early morning breakfast in a northern Arizona cafe, four elderly ranchers were discussing everything from cattle, horses and weather to how things used to be in the “good old days.” Eventually the conversation moved on to their spouses. One gentleman turned to the fellow on his right and asked, “Roy, aren’t you and your bride celebrating your 50th wedding anniversary soon?”

“Yup, we sure are,” Roy replied.

“Well, are you gonna do anything special to celebrate?” another man asked.

The old gentleman pondered this for a moment, then replied, “For our 25th anniversary, I took Bea to Tucson. Maybe for our 50th, I’ll go down there and get her.”

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