Another nauseating year-end recap
Nah, just kidding. Why bother rehashing all the nonsense we’ve spent the past 12 months politely discussing on this page and would probably rather forget anyway, especially since there is so much future nonsense I could predict for you today.What, you want to be reminded of some of the babble simply for reminiscing sake? But come on, there’s nothing we can do about any of it. Que sera, sera. What’s done is done and all that, as our British friends would say. Well, OK, if you insist, but I’ll try to be brief, and perhaps locally frank:Huskies football didn’t go blank, Bair Ranch didn’t need a bank, SpeakOut! tanked,Kobe strutted with swank, She-who-must-not-be-named needed a hank,Adam Aaron cranked,(probably won’t walk the plank),’Cuz the big No. 1,Vail is still ranked.(now take a deep breath…)Lindholm’s purple flag was yanked, Runyon and Menconi spanked,RVs in Minturn sank,Salazar had many to thank,While Coors probably drank,And some called the entire election a prank.Elsewhere …Hussein had to chill,Terrorists continued to kill,While Celebrex and Vioxx did so with a pill.Brokaw’s gone,Rather was a pawn,And Jennings still makes us yawn.The Red Sox finally won,Martha’s empire came undone,And Scott Peterson’s free days are thankfully none.Gay marriages received injunctions,Britney’s marriage was accused of dysfunction,While one of Janet’s breasts malfunctioned.Arafat died,Liberals cried,While Bush and Kerry caused the country to divide.”Friends” became bored,Michael Moore was ignored,While “Rings” ruled over all with a lord.Gas prices soared, Stern jumped overboard,While GOOGLE went public and was immediately adored.But even though Edwards promised to heal,Charles, Reeves, Brando, Reagan, Child and Dangerfield,The inevitableThey all did yield.And even though the CIA-FBI talked smack,There’s still been no terrorist attack,Proving while things can certainly seem out of whack,We still have each other to keep us on track.So that’s pretty much it for 2004,And I promise this is the very last time,You’ll have to read something by confused little me,That ends in a horrible rhyme.And wherever you go this holiday drive,Strive to survive, don’t let rumors connive,By aiming to thrive and arriving alive, in 2005.Be careful this weekend.Richard Carnes of Edwards writes a weekly column for the Daily. He can be reached at email@example.comVail, Colorado
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