April Fool’s: Bird migration targeted
FREEDOM SKIES If Congressman Tom Tancredo has his way, the Colorado skies will be a little more American next spring.Tancredo, a Republican in the 6th District, has sponsored a bill aimed at cutting down illegal bird migration.Every hummingbird that comes over from Mexico or Costa Rica takes away precious nesting space from American birds, Tancredo said. And who do you think pays for those Canadian geese who have to go to the vet? American black-billed Magpies, thats who.For too long, foreign birds have infiltrated our borders. Its high time we put a stop to this.
Ornithologist Dee Siduous, who is lobbying against the bill titled, Stay out of our skies, said that all birds, regardless of their origin, have the right to free movement.I think Mr. Tancredo needs to read up on his bird history, Siduous said. The 27th Congress of Worldwide Winged Workers established that even the Laotian pigeon can peck on the same windowsill as the lazy-eyed snaggletooth jay. Besides, the foreign birds take up nesting that no American bird would ever live in.Siduous noted that its hard to prove where one of the birds slated for mass deportation the ruby-throated wafflebird comes from.The nature of migration is poorly documented, Siduous said.Tancredo agreed, adding, Yea, they are fully undocumented. Look, these foreign birds come to our land, chirping in their foreign tongues, and refuse to learn our language or adopt our customs. Why should be pay for English as a Second Chirp instruction?
Also included in Tancredos bill is a provision to allow local bands of American eagles to patrol the skies for illegal birds.Hank Chuckroast, who heads up the Eagle County chapter of the American Birds for an American America, which has offices in Bond, has been training eagles to take out what he calls, The enemy.When our founding fathers established the undying right to bear arms and form militias, this is exactly what they had in mind, Chuckroast said. Who knows, that seemingly innocent-looking African swallow could be an Al-Cockatiel operative carrying that avian flu virus.Boutros Couscous-Ghali, a lawyer for the Armenian Civil Liberians Union, said the law would be a de facto suspension of the writ of HeyBeavis Corpus Christi Todd Whitman of La Mancha.Am I the only one who thinks Tom Tancredos ancestors didnt come over on the Mayflower? The United States was built on bird-migration labor, and has a rich history of birds, all the way from the bald eagle to the 43rd dodo bird, Couscous-Ghali said.