April Fool’s: Luxury zeppelins planned at private resort
Daily airsickness reporter
MINN’ERN, Colorado ” Home owners at a private ski resort planned for the forests around Minn’ern may have expensive SUVs parked at their mountain mansions, but they made not need them.
Developer Knobby Chinn announced yesterday he’s planning to provide a small fleet of luxury zeppelins to ferry passengers to and from the exclusive Downhill at the Cribbings ski resort and the recently renamed “Really, You’ve Flown Into Vail, Only 40 Minutes West of the Ski Slopes, International Airport and Hair Design College” in Gypsun.
“Before that unfortunate accident with the Hindenburg, zeppelins were thought of as the ultimate in luxury touring transportation,” Chinn said. “These airships run on helium, not hydrogen, so they probably won’t catch fire, unless you’re doing flaming Jello shots at the bar, and going as the crow flies, it’s almost as fast to take an airship as it is to drive.”
The planned landing hook at Downhill at the Cribbings is at the top of the ski lifts, so home owners can get off their private jets, change into their ski gear in special dressing rooms on the zeppelins, have a smoothie or energy drink, and hit the slopes as soon as they touch down atop Babble Mountain.
A squad of specially-trained monkey concierges will take the rest of the owners’ luggage to their homes or their lodge rooms.
“I think it’s a brilliant idea,” said Monty Signpost, who has reserved a 13,000-square-foot chalet at Downhill at the Cribbings. “I was a little nervous about the monkeys, but once they stop trying to pick lice from your fur coats, they’re really well behaved.”
Support Local Journalism
Start a dialogue, stay on topic and be civil.
If you don't follow the rules, your comment may be deleted.
User Legend: Moderator Trusted User
Are we seeing more bears because there are more bears on the valley floor, or because we’re all spending more time at home? It could be a bit of both.