April Fool’s: Need help? Ask Silas

Dear Silas: My boyfriend and I have been together nearly five years. Lately, though, it seems we’re growing apart, not closer. Our interests have diverged, especially since he bought a 60-inch TV and signed up for the pro hockey package just in time for the playoffs.

Should I try to adapt, or is it time to move on?

Forechecked in Vail

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Dear Forechecked: What were you saying? I smell food! Does your boyfriend bring you food? If he does, you should stay with him, especially if that food is bacon.

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Dear Silas: My wife and I are trying to decide whether or not to have children. She says we need to be more financially secure before bringing another life into this world. I say if we wait until our lives are just so, then we’ll never have kids. Meanwhile, the clock keeps ticking. What do you think?

Ready or not in Copper Spur

Dear Ready: Do I smell burgers on the grill? Are babies food? Can you take their toys and play with them? Is it easy to take a toy from a baby? You should have a baby if it’s easy to take their toys.

Dear Silas: I’m trying to keep the squirrels off my bird feeders. Do you have any advice?

Frustrated in Salt Creek

Dear Frustrated: Squirrels can be toys or food if you can catch them. I am pretty good at catching them because they are stupid, but I can always use a hand. Will you help me catch a squirrel?

Dear Silas: Can you think about anything besides food and toys? I thought you could actually help me!

Annoyed in Avon

Dear Annoyed: Give me some food, then scratch behind my ears. It will all make sense.