APRIL FOOL’s Tipsline | VailDaily.com

APRIL FOOL’s Tipsline

Hello and Im here to talk about two of our county commissioners. (RRRRRR!!!!)That Menconi (sound of shotgun blast)And Runyon (noises like nails and broken glass being sucked into a vacuum cleaner)They make me want to hold on (Machine gun sounds, baying hounds followed by what sounds like an ATV running full-speed into a concrete wall)Listen, bro: @#$@?!!!! F—!@#@$—ing!!! M.!@#$$$$$%%@# AAAFFFGGGGG!!!(explosion, screaming, explosion, sound of Klan rally, etc.)Thanks for listening. Ive got to call 911 now.(really huge explosion, line goes dead)

I bought my home in Vail in 1969 and everything thats come here since I mean the Californians, the second-home owners, Wal-Mart, Matt Zalaznick has really ruined this valley. Time was a guy could drive down Highway 6 naked and drunk, and shoot elk right from the window. Time was a guy could get high and set off fireworks while riding his mule down Bridge Street. This is a warning to all you trust funders who think this is a ski town they killed BB&B and the great race and things are only going to get worse long live the police state! Long live Wal-Mart! Can I borrow like $1,000 from somebody?

You people are so stupid. I mean, my 5-year-old says more intelligent things than I read in this pathetic excuse for a newspaper. Did you get your journalism degrees from Moron University? Stop using mag chloride. ZJ

Hello? Hello? If anyones there, I just want to say that I just visited there for the first time and I think roundabouts suck.Thank you.

Yo! Danny? Is Danny there? Ive got the groceries, man. Danny? Im telling you, bra, have the salad ready, with dressing. Pay for your groceries, Danny, and I know you know what Im talking about. Id hate to, you know, sell your groceries to someone else.(hangs up)

This is a note to that idiot I rode up on Chair 5 with Saturday. Its called deodorant, look it up!

This is a note to that intolerant blockhead I rode up on Chair 5 with Saturday if I like to ski with a dead possum in my ski jacket, its my right. Its a free country. Maybe you should go ski in Russia or Baghdad, you Nazi. Hoo-ray for Saddam!

Hi, Im calling about bird flu thats coming. You know its coming, its already in like Alabama or one of those (No, shut up! Im on the phone to Tipsline. Are you blind?)So my idea is people should eat lots of citrus. It works for scurvy. Free radicals, too, and Omega 3 oils from fish. Kill the bird flu before it kills us. Monkey pox, too.Thanks a lot. Bye.

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