Are you friends with the person you love? |

Are you friends with the person you love?

Neil Rosenthal
Vail CO, Colorado

EAGLE COUNTY, Colorado ” Most satisfied couples will tell you that friendship is the most important ingredient in their relationship. Think for a moment of a person that you would call a good friend ” someone other than your partner ” and see how many of the following statements apply to that relationship. Put a check mark beside the statement if it applies.

____ 1. We support each other in the tough times.

____ 2. We understand each other.

____ 3. We enjoy one anothers’ company.

____ 4. We treat each other with respect.

____ 5. We enjoy a lot of the same things.

____ 6. We trust each other.

____ 7. We accept our differences.

____ 8. We keep our relationship on a positive note.

____ 9. We each put effort into our friendship.

____10. We can depend on each other.

____11. We settle our differences without threatening the relationship.

Go back over the checklist again, only this time think about your relationship with your intimate partner ” and look at how many of the above statements apply. Looking at your love relationship, answer the following questions:

____ 1. My partner would say I am as nice to him/her as I am to my best friend.

____ 2. My partner feels very supported by me.

____ 3. My partner sees me as a team player.

____ 4. My partner will attest that my attitude is more positive than negative.

____ 5. My partner would say I am a fair fighter.

____ 6. My partner would say I am fun to be with.

____ 7. My partner loves my sense of humor.

____ 8. My partner would say that I am responsive to his/her needs.

____ 9. I do my part in preventing harmful interactions between us.

____ 10. I come up with fun ideas for us.

____11. I initiate interesting conversations.

____12. I am a good sport.

____13. I express optimism about our relationship.

____14. I am accepting of imperfections of my partner and myself.

____15. I have a realistic vision of relationships.

____16. I am a pleasant person to be around and/or to live with.

This quiz was taken from Pat Love’s excellent book “The Truth About Love.” What do your answers to the above questions tell you?

Neil Rosenthal is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Denver and Boulder, specializing in how people strengthen their intimate relationships. He can be reached at (303) 758-8777, or e-mail him from his website,

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