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blog: Crying for help and other misadventures

Mary Burd
Vail CO, Colorado

VAIL, COLORADO ” I am a fan of honesty. My sister says I’m too honest.

She laughed at me when I came home from the gynecologist, and told her I answered “Occasionally” to the question “Are you sexually active?”

She also couldn’t believe that in my last job interview, I said I handled a difficult costumer by telling him he was being rude. Well, it was the truth…and for the record: the costumer apologized, and I got the job.



I do not find reality embarrassing in any way. I have no problem saying that I have punched a guy for grabbing my sisters butt; shattered the glass in the fire extinguisher with my fist when I was angry; thrown up on a random person on the bus; cannot remember most of the guys names that I have kissed; have had a one night stand (actually, that turned into two nights … ); been told I needed to be in the psych ward; have eaten cow tongue and chicken hearts; gone skinny dippy; and I am planning on getting my nipples pierced. I can say all that without blushing. And that’s not even the good stuff.

All of the above (and beyond) are irrelevant. I’m mentioning them because I’m really not sure why anyone would see what I wrote in my last blog as personally embarrassing.

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I thought I was writing about what happens when you sober up and take a good look at your life.

And as far as crying for help, well, I’m not really the type. I might scream, scratch, hit, bitch, stomp, pout, or wail, but cry?

Only in solitude for short periods of time.

I learned a long time ago that I have to try to get what I want, because no one is going to hand me anything in life ” and that crying only gives me mascara streaks and dark shadows under my eyes.

Just to add another common blush inducer, I weigh a lot more than I look like I do. I wouldn’t recommend straining your back trying to help someone up who is already standing, however unsteadily, on her own two feet.

Contact Mary at Ma_ha_ria@hotmail.com.


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