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Boy, were we ever wrong

Ryan “Our Guy” Sutter is the head stud dog in the Bachelorette herd, and hit his knee to pop the question on national television. We, the Titans of Town Talk, were certain it would be Arch Rival Charlie, based on the same type of silliness people use to try to make soap opera characters real. We also don’t need to point out that we’ve been pretty rough on Trista, based only on the way we were mislead by the guys at ABC who edited her appearances.

We blame them.

Ryan obviously loves this woman, and thinks she’s pretty bright. We’re also trying to convince Ryan, a former NFL defensive back, from running us through a concrete block wall in an effort to defend the honor of his One True Love.

Trista’s great. You hear us say that, Ryan? Great.

It’s been a real fairy tale, and here’s hoping you live happily ever after.

And for all those women who’ve been calling here all day, wanting Ryan’s phone number and e-mail address in case it doesn’t work out – knock it off.

P.S. Even though we think Trista is OK, we still think it was messed up to feed a salad to the guys in the fire department. Obviously the work of some subversive assistant producer.

Birthday brigade

Lordy Lordy, Kelly’s 40. Happy birthday from your family in Texas, Love, Dad, Mom.

Ski fast, take chances

The Colorado State High School Ski Championships are Friday and Saturday, right here in our Beaver Creek back yard. Today it’s the giant slalom at 9:30 a.m. on Centennial, Nordic at 4 p.m. at Cordillera. Saturday, it’s slalom at 9:30 a.m. on Centennial, Nordic at 4 p.m. at the Vail golf course. Support your local skier from Eagle Valley, Battle Mountain and Vail Mountain School.

Golden moment

The kind folks at the Golden Bear held a Valentine’s Day raffle in which they gave away a real expensive piece of jewelry, then gave all the money from the raffle to the Salvation Army.

They sold 354 raffle tickets and raised $1,700 for the local Salvation Army. They were jumping up and down with the results, as was the Salvation Army. The winner of the diamond pendant ($1,100 value) was Steve Jackson from Arizona.

Chili chillin’

The wonderful women at the Eagle Chapter of the Order of the Eastern Star are running their annual Chili and Potato Soup Supper next Friday. Dinner starts at 5:30 p.m., and costs $5 for seniors and kids (children under 4 eat free), $7 for other people and $20 per family. It’s at the Masonic Lodge in Eagle, at the corner of 3rd and Capital streets in Eagle. The Eastern Star supports the Excelsior Home for troubled girls; local, state and national; scholarship programs; stuffed animal programs for law enforcement agencies and other charities.

Salute to the Flappers

Eagle County’s seniors remember the 1920s with a Salute to the Flappers. It’s Feb. 22 at the Eagle County Fairgrounds Exhibit Hall. Doors open at 4:30 p.m., dinner starts at 5 p.m. Live and lively entertainment will ensue by the Crystal Crackers, a multi-media extravaganza. Door prizes, the Pete Meese Trio, dancing and more fun than the law allows. It’s $5 for folks over 60, $10 for folks under 60, and $25 per family. Chef Steve Carver will crank up the barbecue. Call 328-1005.

Salvation Army soldiers

The Sunday school classes of the First Lutheran Church of Gypsum are heading a food drive to replenish the Salvation Army’s food pantries across Eagle County.

Ranging in age from preschoolers through high school students, the youth are collecting canned goods and other needed items to help re-stock the Salvation Army shelves, depleted after the holidays. The food drive runs all month. Cash donations also are welcome. Checks can be sent to First Lutheran Church, P.O. Box 391, Gypsum, CO 81637.

Real reels

Art Kittay has a professional model Sony professional style reel-to-reel that he wants to give away to someone who’ll appreciate it. Call him at 328-1440.

Middle East mess

Professor Jonathan Adelman will discuss “The Mess in the Middle East: What Went Wrong,” at 7:30 p.m. Feb. 21-22 at the Vail Interfaith Chapel, as part of the Ernest Scheller III Annual Speakers Program sponsored by B’nai Vail. The community is invited to one or both discussions. Saturday, his presentation will focus on “The Arab-Israeli Conflict.” They’re free. Refreshments will be served. For more information, call 477-2992.

Ole’s obituary

To those in North Dakota, Minnesota and for that matter the rest of the country, we must report the Sad News that Ole was SHOT. He was up by the Canadian border on his 4-wheeler cutting some trees, when some rangers looking for terrorists spotted him. According to the news reports, using a loudspeaker, they shouted to him: “Who are you and what are you doing?”

Ole shouted back, “OLE… BIN LOGGIN!”

Ole is survived by his wife Lena and Lena’s good friend Lars.

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very

big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to tell them

what has happened.

“First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector,” says the Coroner.

“Second body: “Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent

it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile.”

The Inspector asked, “What of the third body?”

“Ah,” says the coroner, “this is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob the redneck from Alabama, 30, struck by lightning.”

“Why is he smiling then?” inquires the Inspector.

“Thought he was having his picture taken.”

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