Carnes: Conversation with a Texan |

Carnes: Conversation with a Texan

“Stereotyping is a terrible thing to do.”

“I reckon’.”

“What did you say?”

“Sure is. It’s like kickin’ a cowpie on a hot day. You know what’s gonna happen but you cain’t help it and do it anyway.”

“What in the world are you talking about?”

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“Hmmm? Just answerin’ your question, that’s all. Where’d I lose you, at beginnin’ or the end?”

“At the beginning, right around the moment you opened your mouth. Listen, you wouldn’t happen to be from Texas, would you?”

“I reckon.”

“That means yes, right?”


“Do you think people from Texas are treated differently around here?”

“Different? Whad’ya mean?”

“I’m not sure, I have just heard lately that some local people are complaining about tourists from out of town, especially Texans, and perhaps Happy Valley would be better off without them, or at least without so many of them.”

“‘Scuze me, but ain’t all tourists from out of town?”

“Well, yeah, but that’s not what I meant.”

“It’s what you said.”

“OK, well … you are correct, I’m sorry. Let me try again. I am simply curious as to your thoughts about Texans moving here, and whether or not the valley would be better off without more of them.”


“Is that, yes ” we would be better off without so many of them or, yes ” without more of them?”


“That doesn’t make any sense. Why don’t you say something that makes sense?”

“I’m fixin’ to …”

“OK, I’m waiting.”

“Did you know Texas is the only state to enter the U.S. by treaty as opposed to annexation, which allows the Texas flag to fly at the same height as the U.S. flag?”

“No, can’t say that I did.”

“And perhaps you’ll find it enlightening that Texans drive cowboy Cadillacs, order a Coke regardless of what kind of soda they actually want, know the difference between a cowpie and calf fries, and which one’s worth eatin’, and have no problems grasping the verbal variations between y’all and all y’all.”

“Which is?”

“One is plural.”

“O … K. And what does any of that have to do with my question?”

“Not a damn thing, but it does make my point.”

“Which is?”

“It don’t mean a damn thing where anyone’s from as long as they’re comin’ here for vacation or buyin’ a second home or whatnot. What matters is that they’re here for the same reasons as everyone else.”

“Which are?”

“The mountains, the skiing, hiking, biking, camping, high-altitude golfing

and about a thousand other things you can’t do in the big city, or hardly any place else in the country for that matter. It just so happens that Texas is a dang big place, therefore statistical logic would tell you that there would be a proportionately higher number of Texans coming up here over the long haul.”

“You’re saying it’s inevitable?”

“Yep. Why, just look at us two ” even though one of us is pretending not to be, both sides of this conversation are from Texas.”

“Um … besides the obvious, how could you tell?”

“You mention it in your column from time to time.”


“No problemo.”

“So, anyway, you’re saying being a tourist from Texas is no different than being a tourist from, oh let’s say, New York City.”

“Well, let’s not get carried away now …”

NOTE: The preceding opinions belong to Richard and are not necessarily shared by this newspaper … but they should be.

Richard Carnes of Edwards writes a biweekly column for the Daily. He can be reached at

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