Carnes: Euthanizing Edwards early | VailDaily.com
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Carnes: Euthanizing Edwards early

Edwards is no more in control of its destiny than a snowboard attached to a 47-year-old beginner.

But to be perfectly clear, and to repeat what I have said for the last decade, Edwards as we know it will never incorporate.

Never, never, never.



Voters will never agree to add yet another layer of government (and the associated plethora of new taxes and bureaucracy therein) just because a few think that doing so would maybe stop a particular development project or two.

Ain’t gonna happen.



However, this does not mean that Edward’s unincorporated residents will roll over and play dead each time some self-assured hotshot developer rolls into town with a slick presentation and a short timetable.

Most of us understand the polished part is made of polyunsaturated grease and a quick schedule is just a thinly-veiled way of saying, “Come on people, costs are going to rise if we don’t hurry this thing along.”

Sadly, it appears Eagle County commissioners are especially vulnerable to such verbiage.



The two current biggies capturing everyone’s attention are the West End project (formally known as “all that stuff the other side of the Gashouse”) and the Edwards Condominiums behind the Edwards Corner area, heretofore known as the DOBU Project (Definition Of Butt Ugly).

Seriously, I have not seen anything more unfitting around here since the Town of Vail attempted to decorate their main entrance with a fake rock.

DOBU might, just might, be an OK structure somewhere in Southern California or Florida, but has absolutely no place in the Rocky Mountains.

Not that anyone asked, but back to the drawing board is my only suggestion.

The West End project has already gone through significant changes since last December. What was once three acres has now become more than five, a previous maximum of 60 units is now 185 condos, and 40,000 square feet of retail and office space has almost doubled to 79,000, along with five-story-tall structures.

Whoa.

Whatever will I do if they block my view corridor to the interstate?

To be fair, 70 of those condos are now classified by the politically correct oxymoron “affordable housing,” and the developer has appeared at least willing to consider even more changes.

However, this just might be on par with George W. “at least willing to consider” evolution as science.

After all, this is the same developer who said the following in a letter to Homestead owners: “These alternatives represent the most generous and unprecedented housing plan ever proposed by a private developer in the history of Eagle County.”

Whether or not that statement was made in a hyperbolic chamber is still up to debate.

But come on, are you serious with “most generous” comment?

Afraid not, Bubba..The generous word is not allowed to be used in any proposal around here that also includes the words developer and profit.

Unprecedented?

Sorry, I don’t understand the question.

For some reason these guys seem to think they are the first to ride into Happy Valley on a silver steed (with a Mercedes star prominently perched on its nose) touting “wonderfully amazing opportunities for OUR future.”

Yeah, and al-Qaida wants to share the wonderful opportunities of Wahhabism.

And just the mere idea of constructing a single roundabout only a few hundred feet from an incredibly busy red light is like building an eight-person riverfront gondola that funnels solely to a four-person chair.

Nobody would be that stupid.

Anyway, for years some have feared for Edwards becoming the new county dump for all building projects that don’t have a snowball’s chance of working elsewhere.

Pardon me but, I do believe it’s snowing outside.

NOTE: The preceding opinions belong to Richard and are not necessarily shared by this newspaper … but they should be.

Richard Carnes of Edwards writes a biweekly column for the Daily. He can be reached at poor@vail.net.


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