Carnes: Hypocritical hits & misanthropic misses
George Carlin is generally credited with calling into question the airline industrys term near miss, pointing out the actual situation deserves the less compositionally challenged near hit instead.After all, they do indeed miss each other, as do 99.999 percent of all airplanes on the tarmac, therefore it is never anything special to miss, whereas almost hitting, well, that does indeed stand out from the everyday airport crowd.Years ago this newspaper began intermittently publishing Hits & Misses, but it could just as easily be referred to as a bunch of finger-wagging: Shame on (fill-in-the-blank) or semi-patronizing Attaboys. A normal commentary suffers from the limitations of having a main subject, with the majority of discussion hopefully surrounding said subject. But H&M allows the author to comment, albeit briefly, on a plethora of subjects in a very small space, thus greatly increasing their number of potential targets. Its the Diet Coke of opinion pieces very little flavor but loaded with caffeine. However, although it might be a little easier to read in this unfortunate age of literary sound bites, shortening an opinion does not necessarily provide it with any more or any less validity. As they say, there are two sides to every coin, but one can never forget the proverbial edge, for thats where the majority of us actually spend most of our time.Last weeks MISS was to the Colorado High School Activities Association for refusing to budge on a Saturday playoff basketball game involving a Hebrew Academy, whose religious beliefs forbid them to play on one of the seven most popular days of the week.This decision deserved a big ol HIT instead, as punishing school kids for the illogical beliefs of their elders is where the MISS should be pointed. Whether theyre Jewish, Muslim, Catholic, Protestant or devout followers of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, children should never suffer because of the force-fed irrational delusions of others.While there was a recent HIT to Vail Resorts for its proposal of employee housing in the North Day Lot, they deserve at least the same size MISS for claiming to need $14.4 million in tax dollars to make a reeeaaaallly nice bus stop in the same building.Excuse me, but somebody needs to move a decimal point one slot to the left. Either that or Im going to start building bus stops in my spare time.Speaking of financial fornication, a big MISS should go out to our county commissioners for their share of the economic strait jacket theyve helped force many of their constituents into wearing, but they also deserve a long-term HIT for helping the local masses learn who not to re-elect in the future.A HIT is due to Debbie Buckley and Dick Gustafson for having the courage to run for county commissioner next November, but also a MISS for forcing the majority of us to actually want a Republican (any of them) back in office for any reason whatsoever.A HIT also goes out to Rob Levine, GM over at the Antlers (whose father is David, for those uninitiated with letters to the editor), for having the foresight years ago to house many of his own employees. He bit into an astronomically large bullet back then, and only now (after years of painful squeezing) is reaping the rewards of having it pass all the way through his (accounting) system.A self-inflicted MISS can now be appropriately applied to me for the above inappropriate metaphorical attempt.Hey, its all about balance. One mans HIT will always be another mans MISS, no matter how improper one side might appear in the eyes of the majority.In fact, all opinions on this page (not just Hits & Misses) are personally perceived shots in the dark, just as right as they are wrong, but they exist for the sole purpose of sharing, usually in vain attempts at influence of some sort. Some are well-thought-out and worthy of further discussion and perhaps heated debate, and some well, lets just say its all hit or miss anyway.NOTE: The preceding opinions belong to Richard and are not necessarily shared by this newspaper but for some unfathomable reason he thinks they should be.Richard Carnes of Edwards writes a column for the Daily. He can be reached at email@example.com.
Support Local Journalism
Start a dialogue, stay on topic and be civil.
If you don't follow the rules, your comment may be deleted.
User Legend: Moderator Trusted User