Carnes: Vail Valley has been a leader all this time
Have you been listening to all these clowns around the country lately whining about having to work more than one job just to keep their home?
Hell, we’ve been doing that around here for decades.
“Gas is too expensive!” these same goofballs shout with indignant ignorance.
“I can’t afford health insurance!”
“Elected officials are not listening to us!”
“My new Volkl Mantras don’t work in the heavy powder like they promised!”
OK, maybe that last one is a Happy Valley exclusive, but the rest are nothing new to anyone who’s been around here long enough to, oh, let’s say, describe the sizzling similarities between Ruby’s in Eagle Vail and the original Two Elk.
Happy Valleyites have been quiescently existing under these types of conditions long before they became national catch phrases to inflame the media-induced oppressed. Just look at the facts:
Local mortgage and rental rates have always been directly connected to property appraisal values and profit potential, certainly not wages, which would be akin to fiscal suicide.
Our petrol prices have always been analogous with altitude, driving home the obvious point that “to get over the pass, you must pay more for gas.”
Gambling with a deck of choose-your-accident playing cards (a.k.a. health insurance) has always taken a back seat to annual ski and golf passes, which of course each thoroughly deserve the upfront buckets.
And speaking of elected officials not listening to constituents, Commissioner Menconi received 126 votes, Ed Woodland 734, for last week’s mayoral election in Eagle.
Common sense tells us that, believing his own hype, Arn would have voted for himself. Common courtesy would dictate that his wife (who is still a sweetheart, by the way) would vote the same.
What inquiring minds want to know, however, is who in the world were the other 124, and what sort of mental lapse occurred as they stood in the voting booth?
How many work for the county? How many volunteer for SOS? Were they under threat of sniper fire, or were they served Alamosa tap water prior to voting?
And another commissioner (who it appears will be losing his own vote before we carve our next Thanksgiving turkey) has insomnia issues because, for some bizarre reason, he is convinced that reasonable requests from his constituents are in direct conflict with reasonable government spending.
But back to the issue at hand.
Some of these whining bozos across the nation take their whining even further, laying claim to a fear of terrorists.
Well let me tell you, here and now, we have been dealing for decades around here with a scourge that’s slowly but surely attempting to destroy us and our way of life from the inside out.
I am talking, of course, about pine beetles ” nature’s terrorists, if you will ” and their attempts at claiming eminent domain over our backyard.
But we will deal with it, thank you very much, in our own way and in our own sweet time, just like we always have.
We’ll wait the buggers out.
So, you see, we are not, nor have we ever been, immune from national trends. Our Rocky Mountain bubble is not so far behind the reality curve that all we ever see is a gently sloping uphill grade. In fact, it is quite the opposite. We are so far in front of the curve that we can’t bother looking back for fear of tripping over each other as we race ahead.
We are the trendsetters; not the other way around. Or, all raging sarcasm aside, perhaps it’s just that we’re more like everyone else than we think we are.
NOTE: The preceding opinions belong to Richard and are not necessarily shared by this newspaper … but for some confusing (at this moment at least, before a re-read) reason, he thinks they should be.
Richard Carnes of Edwards writes a column for the Daily. He can be reached at email@example.com.
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