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Christmas concert benefit

For all those calling to find out the date of Pat Hamilton’s and Peter Vavra’s annual Christmas concert benefit, it is Friday, Dec. 19, at 7:30 p.m. in the Beaver Creek Chapel. It’s a special night of music in the holiday season, so mark it on your calendars now!Salvation Army Food Basket ProgramThe Vail Valley Salvation Army’s annual Holiday Food Basket Program will be held Nov. 22 at Avon Elementary School and the Fairgrounds in Eagle from a.m. to noon.The Army wants you to help. They need volunteersto assemble food baskets and deliver food to low-income families in the Vail Valley. If you plan to deliver baskets, they ask that you be at one of these locations by 10:30. Drivers are always needed! And volunteers are urged to bring boxes to assemble food baskets if possible.The Army says it needs your help to make this event happen. Call the Salvation Army at 926-3704.St. Patrick’s Parish Thanksgiving DinnerSt. Patrick’s Parish’s annual Thanksgiving dinner is coming Sunday, Nov. 23, from 5:30 to 7:30 p.m. at the Spirit Center in Minturn. The menu looks inviting: turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes, green beans, candied yams, plenty of pie – all cooked up by folks who really know what they are doing. All are welcome. Call Kay Casperson at 926-3274.Republican RoundupThe Eagle County Republican Fall Roundup is tonight at 4-Eagle Ranch. The whole deal starts at 6 p.m. with cocktails. Dinner is 7 p.m. For the meager sum of $35 per person, you get all this, and dancing, plus enlightenment from Greg E. Walcher, Executive Director of the Colorado Department of Natural Resources.Call 949-5054 to RSVP.Holiday Craft ShowThe Eagle Valley Holiday Artisan and Craft Show is today and tomorrow at the Vail Valley Jet Center, (old) Terminal B Building. You can still display your wares. Call 328-5220 to get a spot. On Saturday, Santa will come in on a jet and will be available for a couple of hours for pictures.Idea WildWine and dine on the wild side. Idea Wild raises money to buy gear for biologists who are working to maintain the planet’s biodiversity. It’s great work, and we just have one planet. Be part of it. Dec. 6 at Vail’s Savory Inn, they’re hosting “Wine and Dine on the Wild Side.” The evening’s exotic fanfare features live animals, costumed servers, a silent auction, a red snapper entree, and stunning paintings by international wildlife artist D. Arthur Wilson. For reservations, call 331-9824.Ski for goodThe Vail Valley Charitable Fund is auctioning four unrestricted five-mountain ski passes. Bidding is open until noon Nov. 20. They’re valued at $1,649. Bidding starts at $850. Call 748-0868, or email your bid to vvcf.net.And Sometimes They Just Make It Too EasyLos Angeles Police lucked out with a robbery suspect who just couldn’t control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, “Give me all your money or I’ll shoot,” the man shouted, “That’s not what I said!”…Ouch, That Smarts!A bank robber in Virginia Beach got a nasty surprise when a dye pack designed to mark stolen money exploded in his Fruit-of-the-Looms. The robber apparently stuffed the loot down the front of his pants as he was running out the door. “He was seen hopping and jumping around,” said police spokesman Mike Carey, “with an explosion taking place inside his pants.” Police have the man’s charred trousers in custody.Are We Not Communicating?A man spoke frantically into the phone: “My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!” “Is this her first child?” the doctor asked. “No, you idiot!” the man shouted. “This is her husband!”Idea WildWine and dine on the wild side. Idea Wild raises money to buy gear for biologists who are working to maintain the planet’s biodiversity. It’s great work, and we just have one planet. Be part of it. Dec. 6 at Vail’s Savory Inn, they’re hosting “Wine and Dine on the Wild Side.” The evening’s exotic fanfare features live animals, costumed servers, a silent auction, a red snapper entree, and stunning paintings by international wildlife artist D. Arthur Wilson. For reservations, call 331-9824.The GetawayA man walked in to a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Shop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.Do-It-Yourself Brain Surgery?!In Ohio, an unidentified man in his late twenties walked into a police station with a 9-inch wire protruding from his forehead and calmly asked officers to give him an X-ray to help him find his brain, which he claimed had been stolen. Police were shocked to learn that the man had drilled a 6-inch deep hole in his skull with a Black & Decker power drill and had stuck the wire in to try and find the missing brain.And What Was Plan B?An Illinois man pretending to have a gun kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines. The kidnapper then proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts…And These Nitwits Are Teaching Our Children?!!A 9-year-old boy in Manassas, Virginia received a one-day suspension under his elementary school’s drug policy – for Certs! Joey Hoeffer allegedly told a classmate that the mints would make him “jump higher.” And a student in Belle, West Virginia was suspended for three days for giving a classmate a cough drop. School principal Forest Mann reiterated the school’s “zero-tolerance” policy … not to be confused with the “zero-intelligence” policy.Tough daySome Days, It Just Doesn’t Pay to Gnaw Through the Straps.Fire investigators on Maui have determined the cause of a blaze that destroyed a $127,000 home last month – a short in the homeowner’s newly installed fire prevention alarm system.”This is even worse than last year,” said the distraught homeowner, “when someone broke in and stole my new security system…”And for the Main CourseA man in Taormina, Italy, was hospitalized after swallowing 46 teaspoons, 2 cigarette lighters, and a pair of salad tongs.Moe and MoeWWII veteran Andy Moe, who always carries the American flag in the Fourth of July Parade from Golden Peak to Lionshead or visa versa, in spite of years of bouts with cancer, has been transferred from the Vail Valley Medical Center to the Life Care Center of Evergreen, 2987 Evergreen Parkway, Evergreen, CO 80439. He would appreciate hearing from Vail friends. Phone 303-674-4500, Station 1 North.How to thank themDebbie Robbins would like to provide the address for any students, teachers or parents who would like to write a thank you letter to the veterans who came down to school as part of Veterans Day commemorations. Here it is:Quartermaster Higinio RomeroMount Holy Cross VFW Post 10721P.O. Box 234Minturn, CO 81645


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