Compared to him, poor men indeed |

Compared to him, poor men indeed

We took a look.

We saw a crook.

For simple investors

He had a hook.

On his hook

He had a book.

Inside his book

Were lessons on “How To Cook.”

At annual meetings

He’d say “Take a look!”

And shareholders would salivate

While becoming hooked on the book.

He bought big cars and jets

And mansions by brooks,

While profits were diving

And ledgers mistook.

But what good to shareholders

Are books that have been cooked,

They are left only saying,

“I feel like a schnook” and

“I done been took.”

The books don’t balance

And the crook’s can’t cook,

So S

What good to a crook

Is a rooked cooked book?

There once was a CEO named Lay,

Who molded mountains of money

as if clay.

His investors said, “HEY!”

We have something to say,

And with crying wife by his side

He now prays.

There once was a company called Worldcom,

Whose arrogance was rivaled by Saddam.

They blessed, “Investors be calm,

And stick our your palms.”

But in place of a psalm they got napalmed.

(Sung, with a few liberties, to the tune of “Old McDonald.”)

There was a boss who ran Tyco,


His title was as C-E-O,


With a mansion here

And a mansion there,

I’ll buy this – I’ll buy that – s’not my money don’t give a rat’s …

They finally saw him as psycho,


Collectively we said, “Uh-oh,


He should go to jail

Not allowed bail,

Hit him high – hit him low,

Then he’ll grasp that we all know.

There was a crook that ran Tyco,


A great man once lived named Siebert,

Together with Eaton he saw pay dirt.

Off his back came his shirt,

And hard work they’d exert,

Plus with Gersbach marketing, man, did they ever subvert.

After years of hurt but staying alert,

They created much more than just a place to sell T-shirts.

Now he is gone

And we must revert,

To the days where we flirt,

With the results of their just desserts.

Thanks, Pete.

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