Crime briefs: Cash in dresser drawer goes missing
Editor’s note: The details of this incident are taken from Eagle County police reports. All suspects are innocent until proven guilty.
Wonder Waiter stashed a couple hundred bucks in tip money in a dresser drawer, and had the nerve to act surprised when it went missing.
Chances are poor that the Dead Presidents on those bills strapped on boots and danced away. Of all the things the Dead Presidents are, most of all they’re dead and generally don’t dance – at least not by themselves out of a dresser drawer and into someone else’s pocket.
Wonder Waiter decided no one had access to that cash except the roommate. The local constabulary was called on Jan. 9. An Eagle County Sheriff’s deputy drove over to chat with the roommate, who denied knowing anything about the Dead Presidents, or to where they might have danced.
The roommate’s romantic interest also denied knowing anything about the Dead Presidents.
Since Dead Presidents don’t leave much of a trail when they dance, the Eagle County Sheriff’s Deputy didn’t have a clue where they might have danced to.
Staff Writer Randy Wyrick can be reached at 970-748-2935 or firstname.lastname@example.org.