D.R.: Critics unworthy of ‘Pirates’ | VailDaily.com

D.R.: Critics unworthy of ‘Pirates’

So, the critics almost universally panned “Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl.”

What else is new. They hated “Star Wars,” “Spider-Man” and “Shrek” ” all of them ” and just about everything else worth watching.

This “Pirates” was too convoluted, too complicated for them, but all those French foo-foo films and the junk at Sundance is just great? Please.

The critics have come to fashion themselves a bit rich for the common taste, more literary-minded, more elite, aloof and frankly trying too hard to show what fine connoisseurs they must be. Or want to be. Most are painfully pedantic wannabes.

They also are morons as a class. Anyone focused first on showing you how smart they are is a moron, almost by definition and most certainly by revelation.

But you have to love a critic skewering a children’s story with no apparent understanding of the fact. All the nuance they think the film lacks, the action, the holes in the plot line, all that, and they fail to understand the most basic thing?

Well, there’s your first clue.

Yes, you could say the movie is too long. You can poke holes in the acting. You can second-guess the plot. Fine. Fine. Fine.

The film ended too quickly for me. I believed in all the characters, especially the monkey and Keith Richards. My favorite part was the answer to Jack Sparrow asking his dad, “How’s Mom?” The plot turned enough that I plan to see the movie again.

I thoroughly enjoyed the movie, freed from poking holes and evaluating the merits of this and that.

A few million others felt pretty much the same way.

The critics were wrong. Again. They pretty much are always wrong. That makes for a reliable barometer for whether to watch a movie. If the critics like, it won’t fail to be terrible. If they hate it, rush to buy your ticket.

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