Deck the halls with… A pink male thong? |

Deck the halls with… A pink male thong?

Scott N. Miller
NWS Schmidt, Howard PU 12-25

VAIL – Sometimes it’s getting He-Man underwear when only G.I. Joe will do. Sometimes it’s no gift at all. But most folks, at some point, will find a clunker under the Christmas tree.The good news is those memories seem to fade after a while. A lot of people in the Christmas Day crowd on Bridge Street couldn’t remember getting a bad gift.”We’ve been blessed. We’re very thankful,” Maria Elena McDonald of Georgia said. The rest of the McDonalds couldn’t remember any real Christmas clunkers, either.Some bad gifts stand the test of time, though.”When I was about 12 I got a pair of toenail clippers,” Howard Schmidt of Edwards said. “I don’t really remember what I asked for. We weren’t really prone to be asking for much back then.” But Schmidt still has the toenail clippers.”I guess it wasn’t all that bad, really,” he said.

Other folks in the Bridge Street crowd had received their clunkers just this year.”I got the DVD of ‘A Christmas Story’ yesterday, and the movie was on TV for 24 straight hours yesterday and today,” county resident Adam Fodge said. “I may have to take that one back.”A lot of Yuletide duds have something to do with clothing. While no one was wearing an awful Christmas gift, Florida resident Kim Maggie had already returned hers.”I got a big, pink terrycloth bathrobe,” she said with a look a bit like someone who’d just been forced to eat a palmetto bug.And on a day dedicated to rooty-toot-toots and rumpa-tum-tums, even utilitarian clothing can get a a thumbs-down.”Socks and underwear, always,” are blah gifts said Floridian Josh Weatherington.Worse yet is underwear that doesn’t fit, said Richard Cline of Atlanta.Perhaps even worse is embarrassing underwear.

“I got a pink male thong once,” Denver-area resident James Pepper said. The gift apparently came long enough ago that he could talk about it without blushing.”How about an ex-boyfriend who forgets to get you anything for Christmas or your birthday?” Kimberly Uberti of Tahoe, Calif. said. Notice she said “ex.”Not everyone celebrates Christmas, of course, but bad gifts can come any time of year.”I got a knife sharpener for Mother’s Day once. Does that count?” said New Yorker Ellen Duncan, whose family celebrates Hanukkah.”I’ve got another son sitting at in Copper (Mountain) with pneumonia,” Duncan added. “That’s a bad Christmas for him.”Some bad gifts just keep on giving, especially for the recipients.”Bad gifts? How about George Bush’s re-election?” East Vail resident Allen “Doc” Tulgan said. “But I’m happy my kids are healthy, and my grandkids are healthy, and they’re coming for Christmas.”

And on Christmas day, there was a lot of coming together, and a lot of celebration on the slopes. Bernie Salzberg’s family is Jewish, but on Dec. 25 in Vail, he had a great gift idea for any family on vacation.”Empty trails and happy trails,” he said.Staff Writer Scott N. Miller can be reached at 949-0555, ext. 613, or Daily, Vail Colorado

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