Don’t paint my face pink! |

Don’t paint my face pink!

Compiled by Allen R. Smith

• Instructor, teasing a young student: “Do you know what we’re having for lunch today? Gopher guts!” Young student: “I can’t eat that. I’m a vegetarian.”• While riding up the gondola one day, a 5-year-old boy asked me if the run below was a black run. I told him yes, and asked him if he knew what the colors of the runs stood for. “Yes. The green runs are for beginners, the black runs are for men and the blue runs are for women.”• During class demonstrations, a young girl indignantly stated to her instructor, “We can’t ski if we keep stopping all the time.”• I was putting face paint on a small student for Indian Day, when a little boy grabbed my hand and said, “Put pink on me and you’re dead meat!”• A 5-year-old student walked up to a lady with her new baby and said, “I really like your baby. Does she pick her nose?”• An instructor asked one young student if she would like to be her partner on the chairlift. The child said, “Yes, but only if I can have the window seat.”• Child: “I think that the ski company should make ‘no fall skis and boots.'”• Child: “When I grow up, I’m going to have hair in my nose just like my instructor.”• Instructor: “Now we have a really big surprise.” Child: “We get to go potty?”• While helping to dress a group of young skiers, the instructor asked a class of 5-year-olds, “What is the one thing that you need to have in order to go outside and ski?” A small girl stood up and said, “A credit card.”• After watching an instructor teach adults to ski uphill, little Jeffrey from England yells, “Hey, buddy. They have chairlifts for that, you know!”• After spending the morning with a group of 3-year-olds, one of the mothers asked me, “Do you think it would help her skiing if I bought her a lesson with a real instructor?”• A ski instructor was having a great deal of difficulty getting a 3-year-old’s thumb into his glove. The 3-year-old informed the instructor, “You’re fired!”• Riding with another class down the gondola, one small student asked the instructor, “Are you borrowing me?” • A young boy peeks his head out of the bathroom and asks, “Why are you keeping us in here?”- Leslie Schurenstedt and the Instructors of the Lionshead Children’s Ski School, VailVail, Colorado

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