Droughts, dry spells and endings
Q: My simple life is gone now that my girlfriend and her son moved in with me. I love them, but it’s causing me stress.A: Don’t feel badly; most men have the illusion that they will live their simple life forever, even when they fall in love. Why not? Why should it all change just because the woman you love (and her son) moved in with you? The answer is that it just does! Not only are women more complicated than men, but adding a child makes your simple Monday Night Football game turn into at least one hour of talking to your girlfriend about her day at work and one hour of doing homework with her son. Face the facts: your life is no longer simple, and the only way you can get back to it is to ask your girlfriend to move out, therefore leading to the end of your relationship and the return of your simple life. Ahh can you feel the tranquility? Oh wait, you will become sad and lonely within a week! Suck it up and take off one weekend or so a month to do whatever it is that thrills you and enjoy your newly complicated(but fulfilling) life.Q: My boyfriend and I haven’t fooled around in two weeks, and this is the longest since we started dating four months ago.A: Two weeks really isn’t that long, but if you are used to it every day (hopefully more!), then it’s time to ask him what’s up? Explain to him that you have needs and those needs are being neglected, but make it light so that you can get a dialogue going to find out what’s going on in his head. If he still doesn’t want to share, give him some space (more than a week but no more than a month), eat tons of chocolate, say a prayer to the Goddess of Love, Venus, and seek a little self-stimulation. If understanding, communication and tenderness doesn’t snap him out of his funk, then I suggest for you to get out that special sexy piece of lingerie (all women have onejust for these situations) and use all of your womanly power to seduce him.Trust me, after a fabulous night of seduction, he won’t remember why he stopped getting it on with you. The worst case scenario is that your efforts don’t work; you will then need to decide just how long you want to go down this road before enough is enough. Sex isn’t everything in a relationship, but it’s pretty damn close!Sends questions to firstname.lastname@example.org. You will remain anonymous!