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Fashion confession of a Mom

Elizabeth Chicoine

Yes, I have Mom Jeans. Do you?Recently, I overheard a friend’s daughter tell her mom, “Don’t wear your Mom Jeans tonight. You want to look good.”I couldn’t resist asking the savvy teenager, “What per se, are Mom Jeans?” Well, bless her heart, her eyes said it all. She squarely looked at my jeans. “Got it, thanks.” I was wearing Mom Jeans.Only a true friend’s daughter would confess such awful truths. I pressed hard for my fashion faux pas. I declared, “Don’t spare my feelings, teach me, and I will share your teenage truths with all moms of Vail.”And so here is The Truth about Mom Jeans. In 1999, Tina Fey became the first female head writer for “Saturday Night Live.” Comedy needed her. Women learned to laugh at themselves. Thanks, Tina!One famous script she produced was a fake commercial for JC Penney called, Mom Jeans. To get the real hysteria caused by this skit, look it up on-line. I am cracking up right now just thinking about it. Pure comedy.A sampling of the lines:”So this Mother’s Day, don’t give Mom that bottle of perfume. Give her something that says, ‘I’m not a woman anymore, I’m a mom.””Mom Jeans, They fit Mom just the way she likes it! She’ll love the 9-inch zipper and the casual front pleats.” Seeing the video clip on-line definitely adds an extra zing, too. I’ll just leave it to your imagination as to what you may see if you so choose to watch this SNL clip. Funny, and painfully honest, I’ll tell you that much.But what are we moms to do if we cannot feel good about wearing jeans? How can we avoid wearing Mom Jeans? Don’t despair. Leave it to a friend’s daughter to have watched Oprah this fall. She shared what she learned with her mom, and now I can pass it on to let all mom readers of the Vail Daily know about the Denim Intervention! You go, my college-aged girlfriend. Keep your momma and all mommas chic!In November 2005, Oprah did a show dubbed “The Denim Intervention for Women.” I will pare down what has been shared with me so that men reading this column won’t just stop reading.It was OK. Good stuff even. But men, be prepared to spend, too. You may even like this offering. There is a men’s line, too.I found Oprah’s dos and don’ts to be quite right on. Her favorite jean was by AG Jeans, the Club. Now, I am one on a modest budget. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t care if my friend’s daughter thinks I wear Mom Jeans. I want to be hip and smart. I want to not be wearing Mom Jeans. Good grief, I am approaching 40 this April. Let me at least have Denim Dignity. I thought to myself as I anted up on-line, “It’s my 40th birthday gift to me!”So as I plugged into Nordstrom’s tonight, I phoned a fellow “sister of denim.” “What do you think?'”Well, I hate to tell you.””What?” I declared. “Hate to tell me what?””Well,” she hemmed and hawed. “I think you need new shoes, too.””Are you kidding me?””No, I followed your suggestions and looked up Oprah’s interventions. I also learned about shoes.””Really?'”Yes. ‘Flat makes fat.’ Get rid of all of your flat-soled shoes.”Alas, I cannot throw out all of the old and come in with the new.Although my shoes may still be flat, my jeans are fitting well. And my friendships remain honestly truthful and tied to the past. They are priceless and always seem to fit. Elizabeth H. Chicoine of Eagle writes a weekly column for the Daily. She can be reached at echicoine@centurytel.net Vail, Colorado


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