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Finding the perfect class for you

Barry Smith
Vail CO, Colorado
Special to the DailyBarry Smith
ALL |

EAGLE COUNTY, Colorado ” The spring session just started at Colorado Mountain College!

If you haven’t registered yet, don’t fret … it’s still not too late. Below are some of my favorite class descriptions from the latest CMC catalog ” and I happen to know that they still have a few empty seats left!

SPA 99 ” Thinking About Taking A Spanish Class Some Day



This course is a facilitated discussion for those who occasionally think that they really should learn some Spanish some day. Topics covered include how good of an idea it would be to learn Spanish, how handy it would be to at least know a few phrases, and how, if things weren’t so busy right now, it really would be great to get around to taking that class some day.

No Spanish speaking skills required (or tolerated.) No text required.



CIS 50 ” Learn How To Use a Freakin’ Computer Already!

Provides the beginning computer user with the badgering, sarcasm and humiliation necessary to get their ass in gear and learn to work a computer. Hands-on experience will guide students through the use of these fancy new “computer” things that all the kids seem to be into. Course highlights include pointing angrily at the keyboard, screen and mouse and yelling, “I said double click! DOUBLE click! What the hell is your problem?”

EFA 250 ” CPR to CCR



As part of the popular “Learnin’ to the Oldies,” series, emergency cardiopulmonary resuscitation procedures will be taught while the classic rock sounds of Creedence Clearwater Revival blares in the background. Other courses in this series include “CPA to CSNY,” “EMT to ELO,” “AA to ABBA” and, for the kids, “ESL to RZA.”

GEY 101 ” An Introduction to Geology.

This course is not about geography ” it’s the study of geology. Student should have this clear in their head before their first class. Geography is the study of rocks and mountains and stuff. No, wait. That’s geology. Ugh ” I always get those two confused. I mean, I totally know the difference, I just have to really think about which is which sometimes. Student should probably wait until after the first class to purchase their text.

EL-103 ” Developing an Enthusiasm For Welding

Welding! How cool is that? You take two pieces of metal and, well, WELD them together. Like gluing, only with molten metal. Cool! It’s like magic, in a way, don’t you think? Plus, you get to wear those awesome masks that make you look like an evil villain. Really, what could be cooler than welding?

PREREQUISITE: The ability to weld. A lack of enthusiasm for it.

GCM 120 ” Golf Management

An overview of the basics of managing a golf course; clubs, balls, bags, carts, grass and the proper iced-tea/lemonade ratio for making an Arnold Palmer.

PREREQUISITE: BMT 120 – Badminton Management

IND 120 ” Suburban Orienteering

Become familiar with mall navigation. Learn to orient yourself using reliable landmarks; GAP, Sears, J.C. Penny, Food Court. Never take another unnecessary escalator trip.

PREREQUISITE: IND 110 – Orange Julius – The Mall Compass

DAN 129 – Introduction to Dancing Outside of the House

“Dance like no one is watching …” or so the saying goes. But why is it that when you do, everyone turns to watch you dance? Topics covered include overbite, yelling “woo” at appropriate times, and throwing your hands in the air and waving them (lack of caring covered in DAN 130.)

MAT 210 – Calculus III

PREREQUISITE: Algebra I, II, III, Geometry I, II, III, Trigonometry I, II, III

Captivating topics include vectors, vector-valued functions, and multivariable calculus including partial derivatives, multiple integrals … you’ve stopped reading this and skipped to the page with all the ceramics courses already, haven’t you? C’mon, take this course! Please? It’s really fun. Sometimes the teacher shows videos. Please?

Text required: Well, usually, yes, but, what the heck … not this semester! We don’t need stinkin’ books. We’ll hold class outside on nice days! Pleeeeease?

Read more about Barry Smith’s adventures at http://www.barrysmith.wordpress.com.


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