First things first |

First things first

To the guy (who spinelssly didn’t leave his name) who called the Vaily Daily whining about us publishing Pete Seibert’s book: knock it off. At the top of every story is an editor’s note that says we’re serializing Pete’s Book, “Vail: Triumph of a Dream.” When you run a serial, you run all the parts until you’re out of parts. This particular serial has 68 parts; today’s is No. 38. As it turns out, running the serials of Vail books by Pete and Dick Hauserman have been among the most popular things we’ve done in years. We, The Titans of Town Talk, invite you to quickly flip past that page in your undying effort to remain as ignorant as possible of your area’s history. We don’t care if, as you say, you’re sick of it. You’re pretty much alone.

Happy anniversary

To my Dahlin’, happy anniversary baby, got you on my, miiihhiiind. Thirteen down and many, many more to go! All my love, forever and always, your Dahlin’

Fly tying class

The fishing guru guys at Fly Fishing Outfitters in Avon are running a fly tying class Wednesday. It’s 5-8 p.m. and costs $65. It’s a novice fly tying class on consecutive Wednesdays, Jan. 22 and 29. Bill Perry will teaching the course, and will cover the basics of fly tying. Equipment and materials are provided. Call 476-FISH.

In search of skis

Could the person who found a pair of Blue Fischer Psychopathic 170s telemark skis and purple Ice poles in the west Beaver Creek lot, on Tuesday, Jan. 14, please call Nancy at 390-9715? There’s a reward, and Nancy won’t ask you any questions. Nancy says she’s lost without her skis.

Vail Christian High School visitors day

Students in eighth grade and their parents are invited to Vail Christian High School’s visitors day. It’s Thursday from 9 a.m. to noon at Vail Christian High School, corner of Lake Creek Road and U.S. Highway 6 in Edwards at the Gracious Savior Lutheran Church site. Call Shelley Gile at 926-3015 for more information.

Hammerin’ with habitat

Habitat for Humanity’s Massive Garage Sale is 8 a.m., Feb. 1. There’s no way to give you directions, so just drive to Eagle on the appointed day and follow the signs. They have lots of plumbing fixtures and fittings, electrical fittings and fixtures, bedding, appliances and a bunch of household items. They had a garage sale in October, which set new outdoor records for putting people together with cool stuff. Call 748-6718 for more information.

They’re also collecting used hammers to build houses, which is what Habitat for Humanity does. To donate your used hammers, bring them to the garage sale, along with your check book.

Seeking diminutive thespians

Walden Family Playhouse, Denver, Colorado’s new professional theater for

young audiences, is holding a kid talent search! Needed are girls and boys ages 10 to 16 for two shows in the inaugural season, “Merlin’s Apprentice,” and “Toby and the Big Top,” both world premiere musical works. Producing Artistic Director Douglas Love is running the show. Auditions are 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. Saturday at the Food Court of Colorado Mills, the shopping mall in Denver at the junction of Interstate 70 and U.S. 40. All parts paid. Must have daytime availability. Call 720-932-7578 for an appointment.

Dot commies

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot.

And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com.

She said unto Abraham, her husband, “Why doth thou travel far from town to town with thy goods when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?” And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short a camel load, but simply said, “How, dear?” And Dot replied, “I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale and they will reply telling you which hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah’s Pony Stable (UPS).”

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. The drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever moving from his tent. But this success did arouse envy. A man named Maccabia did secret himself inside Abraham’s drum and was accused of insider trading. And the young men did take to Dot Com’s trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Siderites, or NERDS for short.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening

sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to the drum maker, one Brother William of Gates, who bought up every drum company in the land. And indeed did insist on making drums that would work only with Brother Gates’ drumheads and drumsticks.

Dot did say, “Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others.” And as Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or as it came to be known “eBay,” he said, “We need a name that reflects what we are,” and Dot replied, “Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators.”

“YAHOO,” said Abraham.

And that is how it all began.

It wasn’t Al Gore after all.

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