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flatlander-Celebrities: The vicarious life

Austin Richardson
Vail CO, Colorado
Web editor Austin Richardson goes by the handle, 'flatlander' because he's from Kansas
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It must be a function of humans to worship.

Deeper still, it’s a function of huaninty to covet what other people possess. The more far out, the better. Those old Bible versus ring true, especially the ones about the seven deadly sins.

Wild success breeds rampant voyeurism. It’s fun to look into a world of luxury and pain. Of course the players in this grotesque passion play will be quick to point out, “it’s hard being me.” Yeah, it’s hard being paid millions of dollars because you can carry a tune and shake your booty just right. Yeah, it’s hard being paid millions of dollars to let the media chase you around with long lenses and video cameras. Celebrities laugh all the way to the bank. Publicists exist to fan the pandering flames of fandom. It’s how careers are bought and sold.



“Talent” is a moving target. There will always be musicians people like, no matter how good they are or how good they are perceived to be. There will always be artists out there who appeal to a certain number of people, mainly to those who “think they know what ‘good’ is because some professor told them so.”

Trust your own instincts. If it looks stupid, but some talking head says, “this is good because I said so,” don’t trust that person, they have ulterior motives.



But nobody needs to tell people what celebrities are good. We’ve got the Internet and television programs to do that these days. The “good” celebrities are actively seeking sensational things to do, or situations to be involved in or people to make angry.

Popular culture is often defined by those who make it available. Being “first to market” with celebrity is a little like fishing. Throw out the bait and see who blogs about it. Take the information (i.e. opinions) Internet busy bodies provide and then make something more of it.

The best part of the whole equation is that the Internet feeds on itself. Comments turn to rumor, speculation evolves into fact and innuendo eventually becomes reality. This reality eventually makes it to television and the process dies. Everybody knows that whatever is broadcast on television is gospel. Yeah right.



The celebrities who cry about not having any privacy wouldn’t trade their fame and fortune to be “nobodies” in a small town. They could do this, but it’s not their goal. Their goal is to be rich and famous. And the more they cry about it, they better they sell.

The subject isn’t decaying as fast as she is.

Droning on in court about myriad dysfunctional situations makes for great television.

And having the death of someone “famous” simply for being “famous” is simply too good to be true for American’s salacious appetite for gossip bordering on slander.

Do you have a story about inane celebrities or the like? Share them with me at arichardson@vaildaily.com


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