Flirt ends with face-flop |

Flirt ends with face-flop

Compiled by Allen R. Smith

Early in the morning, Lonnie and I were flirting with a very attractive young lady, attempting to lay claim to her as our student.A self-proclaimed gift to women, Lonnie was really laying it on thick about how he was going to help her become a finely tuned, skiing machine. He stressed the importance of learning all the basic moves from an experienced, certified instructor such as himself.He suggested that at this “delicate, formative stage” of her skiing career she should have someone close by to monitor her every move. It became apparent that Lonnie was going to have her in his class, regardless what level skier she was.As we proceeded up the magic carpet to take us to the split area, Lonnie continued to try and impress the young lady riding behind him how to stand while riding the carpet, how to align her body to prepare for unloading and how to glide away from the carpet to avoid contact with other skiers.Upon reaching the top of the lift, Lonnie advised, “Now watch carefully how I balance on one ski while stepping off the carpet.” He turned to step off, slipped and landed flat on his back in a heap.End of lesson one.- Mike Wilson, Copper MountainWine conquers all fearsIn my early years of teaching, I worked at Park West in Utah, which is now called The Canyons.One time I had a student that was a middle-age beginner. She was a fairly fast learner and after several hours on the beginning terrain, I decided it was time to teach her how to ride a chairlift.We maneuvered our way through the maze and prepared to sit down on the lift. The moment our derrieres touched the seat, she threw her arms around me and buried her face in my parka.As we rode up the lift, I asked, “Is something wrong?” She said, “I didn’t want to tell you before, but I’m absolutely terrified of heights.”When we reached the end of the line, the operator stopped the lift long enough for me to coax her off. We skied slowly to the bottom of the bunny hill when she announced, “That was fun! I’m coming back tomorrow.”In my head, four words quickly appeared: “Take a sick day.”The next morning, she showed up bright and early as promised. Of course, she requested me for another private lesson. But to my surprise, the first words out of her mouth were, “Good morning. Let’s get on the chairlift.””Are you sure? Most people wrestling with phobias need a little time to overcome them.”She looked at me with a grin from ear to ear and said, “Oh, I won’t need that. I drank an entire bottle of wine before I got here.”- Dave Klemm, Murray, UtahVail, Colorado

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