Ginsu girl gets gory
I love the smell of a decapitated head in the morning.That’s why I’m bloody scalp over mangled heel with "Kill Bill Vol. 1," a Samurai sword-flashing, Ninja-warrior bloodbath that splatters the big screen with enough fake gore to satisfy Jason, Freddy and Bin Laden.This fast-action revenge flick was written and directed by Quentin Tarantino.It is far more stylish than anything Tarantino has attempted in his previous four efforts. Granted, there’s more blood than was found in "Pulp Fiction" and "Reservoir Dogs," but in this case, the slicing and dicing is done in such a cartoon fashion that it’s actually very funny.What you have here is a Bruce Lee movie morphed into an overly violent crime drama, sprinkled with twisted gore, seasoned with laugh-out-loud absurdity, then set to a fabulous soundtrack.Like haggis, Tarantino movies are an acquired taste. Still "Kill Bill" is a must for those who prefer blood pudding to Jello.In one completely over-the-top sequence, the film’s heroine, a vengeful bride played by sexy Uma Thurman, takes on 50 knife-wielding yakuza members inside a Japanese disco. When the chopping is done, most of the victims have lost heads, arms, legs or other body parts to the bride’s invincible blade.As the recently sliced victims writhe on the dance floor, The Bride tells the survivors that they can have their lives, so long as they leave behind their severed limbs in tribute.The Bride isn’t a crazy serial killer with a Japanese fetish. Rather, she’s a retired assassin driven by justified payback against her ex boss.Seems a mystery man named Bill once ran a hit squad. The Bride was his top babe until she opted out of the business to marry another man. As with all cutthroat, corporate executives, Bill wanted his top earner to say with the firm.So instead of offering the lady a raise, he sent killers as a wedding gift.The Bride survives the massacre and spends four years in a coma. She awakens inside a demented hospital ward where hot-looking coma victims are used as sex toys by the night staff.Before you can say, "coma victims do it with their eyes shut," the newly revived Bride tears a would-be rapist to shreds.Our fetching Bride then jots up a death list and heads to Japan to deal with her assassin pals.While "Kill Bill" provides enough blood to drown Dracula, there is far more to this movie than good-looking women cleaving each other with sharp objects.The film’s incredibly cool style overshadows the gore. Like so many other Tarantino movies, "Kill Bill," unfolds in random sequences that do not follow an obvious time line.The movie also ends in classic cliffhanger fashion that will leave you salivating for the sequel.Until next time, Mr. Hernandez has left the theater to sharpen his blade.Nickey Hernandez is a former private investigator, who believes vengeance is a dish best served with a cold beer.
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