God sues Mad Max for royalties
The Lord, also known as God – or He – and also his Behemothness, has filed a Lawsuit against director-actor Mel Gibson for allegedly “stealing” the idea for the controversial but immensely popular movie, “The Passion of the Christ.”
Gibson has implied in interviews that the Man Upstairs told him to make the movie, which is based on a story many agree was first conceived by, uh, the Heavenly Father, himself.
“Taken to its logical extreme, God can rightly claim intellectual property over all movies and artistic creations along with all architectural designs, new Pokeman characters and even Eminem albums and episodes of ‘South Park,’ for that matter,” said Absalom J. Absalom, an attorney for the Big Cheese. “But he only speaks out when he feels one of his children didn’t think up any of the stuff on his own.”
Absalom added El Numero Uno first optioned the rights for the tragic tale of his Son’s crucifixion to MGM back in the 1940s, but was holding off on producing the picture until the birth of Leonardo Di Caprio, whom the Head Honcho says he “had in mind for the leading role when he first wrote the script 2,000 years ago,” according to the suit, which was filed in Eagle County District Court Wednesday afternoon.
It’s the second time a member of the Holy Trinity has complained about Gibson’s movie. According to the Onion newspaper, Jesus has demanded creative control over any sequels Gibson may be planning, particularly if Joe Pesci or Danny Glover is going to be cast.
A flabbergasted Road Warrior said Wednesday that God had in fact ordered him to make “The Passion.” The Boss of All Bosses also insisted he cut a big car-chase scene in which post-apocalytic, gasoline crazed biker gangs with mohawks led by Tina Turner pursue Christ through the Australian outback, Gibson said.
Gibson then accused His Grand Etherealness of “setting him up.”
“First, he demands I make the bloomin’ movie, he monkeys with the plot and then he takes me to court – that’s what I call inspiring in bad faith,” said Gibson, who was contacted teetering on the edge of a building in Los Angeles.
Absalom called Gibson’s allegations “crazy.”
“He wants to see crazy?” Gibson responded. “I’ll show him crazy.”
Gibson then jumped off the building and landed in a giant blue cushion on the street below.
In his next project, Gibson says he is planning to tell the story of God’s glorious creation of the universe and everything in it.
“If God doesn’t back off,” Gibson said, “I’ll change the story so that we’re descended from apes!”
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