Guv dumps on Wyrick | VailDaily.com
YOUR AD HERE »

Guv dumps on Wyrick

Gypsum Creek Middle School PTO is auctioning off a Ski Pass. Minimum bid $800 , Deadline Nov 3 at noon , Call 328-8980 for more information.
ALL |

Colorado’s own Bill the Guv was in town this week, and under careful questioning, we pulled an admission from him that he does NOT endorse the Wyrick: Wy Not Sartorial Senatorial All Stars.

We got Rudolph Giuliani’s endorsement, Bob Woodward, Hillary Clinton, Mark Udall. But Bill the Guv says he has to stay with Pete Coors for Senate, even though we have MUCH better hair.

The Guv says we didn’t completely fill out our official senate candidate questionnaire, leaving out the part about our favorite book and our favorite movie.

It’s always the little stuff that brings down soaring ideas and ideals ” or as Paul Newman said in “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid,” he said “Kid, I’ve got vision and the rest of the world’s wearing bifocals.”

And so, if it will make Hizzonner the Guv happy, and possibly win his hallowed endorsement, here is the Official Literary List of the Wyrick: Wy Not Torque and Recoil Senate Campaign Bowl-O-Rama and Tractor Pull:

n Our favorite movie is anything with Roman numerals behind the title, as in “Rocky IV” all the “Terminator” movies, or the Dirty Dozen (Dozens?). Stuff blows up, and there’s just not that much plot to get in the way of the movie. (Artistic note: Arnold the Guvernator has only 15 lines of dialogue in the original Terminator movie.)

n Favorite book is the shop manual for my Dodge Power Wagon. Either that, or “Kobe Goes Kamping,” which would be a pop-up book.

But to make sure you know how we stand on all the major issues, here’s our own questionnaire, in which Torque and Recoil questions Torque and Recoil:

1. Where do you stand on NASCAR, underage drinking and teen pregnancy?

We love NASCAR. We especially love the Pettys and the Earnharts, as living, racing examples of going into the family torque and recoil business (or, as they say at Talladega, “bidness.”) Dale Jr. dumping the clutch in Pit Row is torque. Jeff Gordon bouncing off the wall at Daytona is recoil.

Now that we’re not underage any more, we’re firmly against teen drinking. Do as we say, not as we did.

We’ve always been against teen pregnancy. As fathers of daughters, we’re against it for obvious reasons now. As teens, we were against it on the grounds of not wanting to see the business end of a shotgun.

2. Have you ever been arrested for filibustering? If not, why not?

We’ve never been arrested for filibustering, although we’ve been known to masticate on a regular basis, hence our preference for relaxed-fit pants. And gravy.

Remember Our Motto: If It Creates Torque, Recoil, Compression, Makes a Big Bang or Shoots a Big Bullet, It’s Cool and Americans Need More Of It.”

Wyrick: Wy Not.

Let Freedom Rip.

Birthday brigade

Wednesday was Tasha “Sparkle” The Clown’s birthday. She’s 26 years old and drop dead gorgeous. Happy birthday from Jazz the Clown and all the other clowns.

Also, we wish Derek a very happy belated birthday along with his Mom and Dad, Jordan and Savannah. We can’t find your picture, but the Town Talk entry slip turned up ” a day late. Bring us a picture and we’ll do it all over again ” until then, hope you had a great day, Derek.


Support Local Journalism


Start a dialogue, stay on topic and be civil.
If you don't follow the rules, your comment may be deleted.

User Legend: iconModerator iconTrusted User