Ha! Liberals have no sense of humor | VailDaily.com

Ha! Liberals have no sense of humor

Matt Zalaznick
Vail, CO, Colorado

Us liberals are one grumpy bunch ” we hardly get a laugh out of anything these days.

And how sad for us lefties when we’ve got one of history’s most hilarious presidents. W.’s been keeping his cronies in stitches since that whopper he opened with back in ’00: Getting elected president in that side-splitting election. Hee-hee!

But we liberals didn’t see the humor in sending to the White House someone who didn’t win the popular vote. Us drips just didn’t see the giggles in dismantling our democracy.

Then we were attacked on our own soil. And when Sept. 11 demanded a strong, unifying leader, W. answered the call of history and brought his comedy to a hilarious new level.

Us liberals would have bored the homeland with calls for national sacrifice. We would have asked the nation for introspection ” we would not have immediately dismissed the attacks as the actions of evil wackos. We may have actually asked if our own behavior around the world could have brought on such hatred.

Not wacky ol’ W. He knocked us dead with his rip-roarin’ demand that Americans spend their lowered taxes with nary a thought for how much the war on terror might cost. And it makes me chuckle just to remember how he and his zany sidekicks called anyone who questioned anything they did unpatriotic.

Oh man, even more outrageous was how W. used our fear of future attacks as a license to rob us of our rights. I mean, could anybody less than a comic genius figure out that if he talked non-stop about how we Americans love “freedom” he could sneakily take it away from us?

Sadly, liberals were too worried about drab problems ” like how the money we spent on oil was winding up in the hands of terrorists like those who attacked the World Trade Center ” to get a chuckle out of having our phones tapped or our library records ransacked.

What’s most sad about our defective sense of humor over here on the left is it has blinded us to all W. and Darth Cheney have achieved on our behalf. When we’re not threatened by nuclear bombs that didn’t exist, W. brought the house down by, literally, bringing houses down. Iraqi houses. And the homeland ” including the New York Times, NBC News and CNN ” practically peed its pants with glee.

Again, us killjoys didn’t even smirk at how the administration conned the media by letting reporters tag along on the invasions. How could the media, having generously been embedded in the war effort, criticize W. while it was riding the Humvees toward Baghdad and hanging out with the troops as they heroically drove through the desert.

The invasion of Iraq led to perhaps the funniest moments of W.’s laugh-a-minute presidency. Us liberals were shown for the party-poopers we truly are when we didn’t die laughing at “Mission Accomplished.”

Even comic legends like the Monty Python troupe couldn’t have come up with declaring victory right before the death toll was about to go through the roof!

But perhaps W.’s masterpiece was during a press dinner when he wittily looked for weapons of mass destruction under the podium, uttering his classic line, “They must be around here somewhere.”

Oh how the families of the troops who died looking for those weapons that so hilariously weren’t in either the ballroom or in Iraq must have fallen out of their chairs laughing.

The good news is that the Republicans have another big time funny man running for president. John McCain proved he could fire off zingers just like W. when he said the U.S. could be in Iraq for a century. Meanwhile, those Democrat bummers Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama say they’re going to bring the troops home and steal from the American people any more laughs we might get from this silliest of wars.

I, for one, would like Hillary and Barack to shut up so we can hear what that madman McCain will say next. Maybe he’ll say he doesn’t really understand how the economy works or that Iran is training al-Qaida terrorists.

Wouldn’t that be funny?

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