Paul “G-man” Genelin turns the big 40 today. If you see him around or working in Lawn and Garden at Home Depot – tell him Happy Birthday.
Betty wants you
The Betty Ford Alpine Garden officially opens this weekend, with all the alpine botanical splendor you’ve been craving. The gift shop is open from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. today, and will remain open as long as there are lovers of flora and fauna.
For the uninitiated, The Betty Ford Alpine Garden is actually open all the time. You can walk through it any time you need a little peace of mind. Actual alpine garden tours run at 10:30 a.m., Monday, Thursday and Saturday. You’ll learn about our unique alpine environment, one of the finest rock gardens in North America. For more info, go to http://www.bettyfordalpinegardens.org.
Battle Mountain High School class reunion time
The loyal alumni of Battle Mountain High School are getting together over the Independence Day weekend in Vail. It’s for anyone who graduated before 1990. You get all kinds of activities including a fireworks party, picnics, a chance to see how much better you’re doing than everyone else and how your old boyfriends turned fat and bald. They’re also doing a Blast from the Past 1980s Prom Night.
Why men are just happier people
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be president.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station because this one’s just too icky.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress – $5000; tux rental – $100.
People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood, ALL the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You don’t have to shave below your neck.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
You can “do” your nails with a pocketknife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45 minutes.
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