How’s your self-esteem treating you?
Vail CO, Colorado
The following questions are designed to help you explore how you can increase your sense of personal power, self-worth and self-esteem-by exploring where in life you’ve been intelligent, kind, healthy, strong, courageous or wise. These questions come courtesy of Carlene and Carolyn DeRoo’s book “What’s Right With Me?” Write your answers down and make them as detailed and as in-depth as you can:
o What got you into trouble when growing up? Persistence? Intelligence? Curiosity? Rebellion? How might these attributes serve you positively now?
o What good financial decisions have you made? List as many as you can. Have you invested in education, paid off a loan or stayed afloat despite immense challenges?
o What are the best decisions you have made?
o When have you gracefully admitted defeat? How did it benefit you in the long run?
o List changes that you have made for your family. Have you worked on controlling your temper? Did you relocate for a partner?
o What have you done spiritually? Have you explored new ideas? Have you put your values into action?
o What have you gained from a relationship struggle? Did it ever lead to a communication breakthrough or an “aha” moment?
o Why do your friends like you? Name a few friends and list what you think they appreciate about you. What good qualities do you have as a friend?
o What has a parent or parent figure consistently praised you for?
o In what ways are you a good sibling? Do you make time to talk to your brother or sister?
o In what ways are you a good “child” now?
o What values do you pass on to young people?
o How did your partner compliment you when you first started dating? What does he or she value now?
o What do you bring to a romantic relationship? Are you great in bed? Do you encourage your partner to grow? Do you admit when you’ve made a mistake?
o With whom have you been generous, either with resources or with time?
o Who depends on you? For what? What do you provide for others?
o List a few times that your body has pleasantly surprised you? Can you bicycle further than you imagined you could? Have you recovered from an illness more quickly than expected?
o List at least three things that you like about your appearance.
o Name a few things that you do well regarding physical exercise.
o Who has given you positive messages about your appearance throughout your life? Describe the praise.
o What do you like about your appearance that you would never tell anyone?
o What do you like about your voice; your handshake; your tears; your dance; yourself when you wake up in the morning; your laugh; your hug; your kiss?
o In what ways have you grown sexually?
o Write about a fantastic sexual experience. What did you like about it?
o What do you like about your sensual self?
o What are some good things that people have said about your sexual self?
o Pick any question above. Notice what appeals to you about the question. Where in your life do you want more of this quality or trait?
Neil Rosenthal is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Denver and Boulder, specializing in how people strengthen their intimate relationships. He can be reached at (303) 758-8777, or e-mail him from his website, heartrelationships.com.
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