Human Hints: Give the gift of self-expression |

Human Hints: Give the gift of self-expression

Quentin Danziger
Human Hints
Vail, CO Colorado

Humanity has arrived at a critical point in its growth. We are evolving faster than ever before.

Evolution happens on a deeply personal level and everyone is different. When we become aware of our own evolution, it is natural to want friends and family to follow the same path.

People will evolve in their own personal way. If we want personal freedom, we must allow others to express any way they want to, as long as they don’t hurt others or themselves. If anyone or anything might get hurt, it is always prudent to call a qualified professional.

In most other matters, we offer a great gift when we allow freedom of expression. We each have our own realities and we cannot force our personal realities onto others or make them into someone they’re not. By forcing your personality onto someone else, you seek to control them. By trying to control others, you open yourself up to being controlled.

You cannot force information or ideas onto others. What you can do is make the information accessible and available to them. If you leave an article on the counter for them to read, you empower them to make a choice. Whether or not they receive it is up to them but, either way, they are following their own self expression.

Now comes the hard part. Once you have given them access to the information your job is to truly not care if they are open to it or not. You are not allowed to get upset if they don’t respond the way you expect or want them to. If you do get upset, it means that you are trying to control them even if you think you’re trying to save them.

With children, it is important to maintain a balance between allowing their personal expression and maintaining boundaries. Any living entity without well-defined, clear, consistent boundaries becomes unbalanced.

If you don’t force your ideas onto others, others will not force their ideas onto you. If you truly love someone, let them be who they are.

There is no such thing as conditional love. If their personal expression upsets you, it is a sign that you are trying to control them. The more you relinquish control and just let them be, the easier your relationship will become.

The trick is to truly allow your emotions to let go. Once you gain control over yourself, you will neither need nor want to have control over others.

If people are trying to force their reality onto you, first detach your emotions. Without emotion, you can see them clearly. You will then be able to approach them with compassion and love. You will be shocked at how quickly they detach from you. When they do, it is up to you to not cling to them.

We unconsciously become attached to being under someone else’s control. As much as we hate it, we can also crave it when its gone. Be aware and be empowered.

Quentin Danziger is a Vail resident. He has a bachelor of science degree in engineering physics from Colorado School of Mines. He can be reached at To receive this column in your daily e-mail, go to

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