I fib, therefore I am | VailDaily.com

I fib, therefore I am

Nickey Hernandez

Since 2003 was the Year of the Big Fat Lie see W.M.D.’s, Saddam’s imminent threat and Bush’s expanding nose for details – why not dedicate a fanciful film to a teller of tall tales?Bush, and his twin demons deception, &quotBig Dick&quot Cheney and Karl &quotI cannot not tell a lie&quot Rove, know a thing or two about stretching the truth. After all, these perjurers told the Cowboy-in-Chief to point a bony finger of indignation at the &quotAxis of Evil.&quotThese West Wing fibbers compounded the exaggeration by linking Saddam to some kind of nuclear fruitcake in Niger.Remember, it was Action Figure Bush who donned flight suit and strutted like a Viagra-fueled rooster beneath a White House-approved banner that declared &quotMission Accomplished&quot when only 200 Americans had died in Iraq.Kind of shocking that the boys on the right still bitch about Clinton’s little fib about not getting blown in the Oval Office.Clearly lying, like greed, is good.Still, none of Washington, D.C. top security scum compare to Edward Bloom, a master of mendacity, whose life and times are recalled in &quotBig Fish.&quotThere is a lot to like with &quotBig Fish,&quot which unfolds like a fanciful fairytale under the direction of the highly talented Tim Burton. The message behind the film is tear jerking, but obvious to all within a matter of minutes.The story centers on the rocky relationship between Bloom (Albert Finney) and his uptight son, Will.Like all young kids, Will loved his father’s bizarre stories about giants, bank robberies and one-eyed witches. But Will grew tired of the lies as he matured. A hatred for elaborate yarns turned Will against his dad and led Will into a boring life a stringer for United Press International.Had Will shown any sense of imagination, he would have landed a job with the Weekly World News. Instead, he ends up as a desk jockey regurgitating gibberish for brain-dead American news rags.Had Will retained any of his dad’s storytelling skills, he’d be bigger than Jason Blair, or at least be in the running for an anchor spot on Fox News.I never really understood Will’s attitude. Still, there is a lot at play in &quotBig Fish.&quot And what work comes from Burton’s creative reenactments of Bloom’s delusions.Bloom never met a fabrication he didn’t want to French kiss. As such, we follow Bloom from his birth (where he is literally shot out of his mother’s womb and sent skidding across a hospital floor) to his travels, loves, achievements and colorful death.All his stories have a nugget of reality. But each becomes better through far-fetched editing.Eventually, the son learns to appreciate his father’s fakery during a touching conclusion that takes the sting out of dying.Until next time, Mr. Hernandez has left the theater to calculate the lies in Bush’s State of the Union address.Nickey Hernandez is a former private investigator who can’t handle the truth.

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