I guarantee an idiot in every pot | VailDaily.com

I guarantee an idiot in every pot

Of course, not all of them are idiots, and sometimes we do it annually. But be assured that we do it with regularity.Idiocy has no boundaries and comes in all shapes and sizes, whether it be Republican, Democrat, Libertarian, Aryan, conservative, liberal, black, white, brown or green.Here in Colorado it can run from post-adolescent tree-huggers wearing tie-dye to retired CEO golfers wearing plaid, and discerns no distinction between male, female or other.The sad part is, of course, that we put them there.We are the ones who choose whether or not to believe the rhetoric spewing throughout the media and click off our choices accordingly in early November, leaving us solely responsible for an idiot’s rise to fame and glory, or their demise.And it’s not just idiots with selfish heartbeats, but idiotic constitutional amendments and referendums as well that we choose to either accept or deny.Over the next four weeks, we – the esteemed registered idiot-choosing voters of Eagle County – have the privilege of electing brand new idiots or keeping the old ones, and accepting or refusing idiotic changes to our state’s constitution and local laws.The local scene really began last night in full force with the first Eagle County commissioner forum. Democrat Gerry Sandberg and independent Laurie Bower are challenging incumbent Republican Tom Stone, with the eventual winner either remaining or being tossed to the forefront of major growth issues affecting us all for the next few decades, especially if you live in Edwards.Tonight we have the enigmatic First Supper as an even dozen officially begin vying for four seats on the Avon Town Council. Outgoing Messiah Judy Yoder should have a righteous time leaning comfortably back in a civilian chair while the disciples compete over such fascinating topics as whether or not Ted Nugent should perform in Nottingham Park this summer without Ted, and if alcohol should be accepted as a way to force tourists to maybe stick around and buy something retail.They will all be entertaining us with joyous get-togethers over the next month, serving beer, pizza, punch, cookies and whatever else they can in order to convince us of their worthiness to represent our views for a few years.We will also be choosing a new county clerk & recorder, treasurer, sheriff, assessor, surveyor and coroner. Although I could go out on a personal limb and predict three sure-fire winners for these races at this very moment, out of respect for the losers I will wait patiently for the proper timing to do so.Statewide we will be choosing district representatives, state attorney general, state secretary treasurer, secretary of state, lieutenant governor, governor, a new congressman, and last but certainly not least, the low key race for U.S. senator between Allard and Strickland, better known as the “I know you are but what am I” campaign.Idiots all, if we so choose.Constitutional amendment-wise we have:27: (Campaign finance reform), a silly attempt to even the financial playing field – in a democracy.28: (Mail ballot elections), would provide unscrupulous idiots with a completely new playing field with which to cheat.29: (Selecting candidates for primary elections), which would make it easier for more idiots to get their name on a ballot.30 (Election day voter registration), which will make it much easier for John Q. Idiot to vote 27 times on election day.31 (English language education), a Tancredo plot with the intended result being a legislator saying, “See, they can’t learn, send “em south!”Various and sundry referendums run the gamut from term limits to new holidays, and locally include a “use” tax (Avon), a “mis-use” tax (open space), and the traditional-but-always-failing “any” tax we can try for (Vail).Quite the slew of selections, yet the final choice is all ours. That’s IF, of course, you bothered to register before today, because now it is too late.Maybe it’s just me, but I think many apathetic Vail Valley residents could be diagnosed with electile dysfunction after the last few elections. And with the number of voters continuing to dwindle nationwide, at this rate we’ll be lucky just to have enough volunteers to work the polling places. Hopefully, the volunteers will be registered.My dad always said the best way to predict your future is to create it. Not exactly original, but the philosophical paint dried quickly each time I heard it.Paying attention to the important issues and individuals listed above will help clarify one major distinction between those with the courage to run for office, those who vote, and those who do neither but complain anyway.At least we will know which ones are the true idiots.Richard Carnes of Edwards can be reached at poor@vail.net

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