Inspirational Lizzie |

Inspirational Lizzie

If you’re a fan of the show, come hang out with the cast members. They’ll be hosting the Future Legends Race at Gold Peak, tomorrow at 2 p.m. Bring your camera and enjoy the racing action!

H 2 Oh!

From Ginny: “To my special friends at H2O Aerbics, thanks for that wonderful lunch and your friendship. Love, Ginny.

Birthday brigade

Princess P called to say that if you see George Shaeffer Extraordinaire’s Dennis Thompson on the job site, wish him a very happy 50th birthday. You can do this yourself Friday at the Singletree Pavilion. Just listen for the sound of the giggling and join in.

Win free Vaily Daily T-shirts

The United States dropped more than 2 million leaflets all over Iraq Tuesday, all with different messages.

Win your Free Vaily Daily T-shirt by taking a guess at what those messages might be. We suspect they were step-by-step instructions on how to surrender – written in French.

Send your guesses to, or call 949-0555, ext. 615.

War and Piece

– And if all things French are shunned, will American kids actually be encouraged to make out on dates, because they’ll be “Freedom Kissing?”

– And since the Swiss kick a little United States booty in the America’s Cup sailing races, can we take them over and send them into the Persian Gulf?

– And what if you’re the only Lt. Colonel who doesn’t have a gig as a war correspondent for a cable news network?

– This just in: Dan Quayle was called up to the U.S. Air Force, from the reserves, where he served as a golf caddy during Vietnam. He’s trying to coordinate bombing raids in the Middle East, but keeps spelling the country’s name “Eraq.”

– Question: Who will get the most votes in Sunday night’s Oscars, President Bush or Donald Rumsfeld?

– And our favorite: One of our buddies came up with a new parlor game, “Name That Former Reagan Official.” It’s pretty simple. As we sit glued to the television, watching war coverage, every time we see a former Reagan administration official we imbibe a libation. We’ll be over long before the war is.

Let’s be perfectly clear

While it’s part of our job to poke fun at everything, we want to make our position perfectly clear, and to do so we steal these thoughts from Dennis Miller:

– Between President Bush and Saddam Hussein, Hussein is the bad guy.

– If you have faith in the United Nations to do the right thing, keep this in mind: They have Libya heading the committee on human rights and Iraq heading the global disarmament committee. Do your own math.

– If your only anti-war slogan is “no war for oil,” sue your school district for allowing you to slip through the cracks and robbing you of the education you deserve.

– Saddam and Bin Laden will not seek United Nations approval before they try to kill us.

– Despite common belief, Martin Sheen is not the president. He plays one on television. Television is not real.

– Even if you are anti-war, you are still on “infidel!” and Bin Laden wants you dead.

– If you believe in a “vast right-wing conspiracy,” but not in the danger Hussein poses, quit hanging around with the Dell computer dude.

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