Letters to the editor | VailDaily.com

Letters to the editor

Les Shapiro

The Vail Daily’s serializing memoirs of the modern founders and conceptualizers of this area is good, but it is a club that Clinkenbeard would have difficulty joining. The most apparent difference between good ol’ Clinkenbeard and Pete’s, Dave’s, Rod’s and Ted’s is that when I have had the privilege of speaking with them regarding their accomplishments, they always said “We” – not I, I, I. It sounds as if Clinkenbeard has developed a speech impediment! If Clinkenbeard is attempting to record history, then this is not the place for his sanctimonious egocentricity and self aggrandizement. He has an obligation to be accurate when considering his reference to Shapiro buying the Fenno note from the bank. Shapiro could not have bought a roll of toilet paper without Clinkenbeard submitting a request to Jane Posen for approval. Why Jane Posen? Well, she was the controlling partner of record, not Felix Posen. For the record, the Fenno documentation may be found in Book 477, page 050 of Jan. 11, 1988. The assignment was to Kensington Land Investment Partners, the developing partnership of Cordillera. His other mis-recollections are not worthy of a reply, as illustrated by Clinkenbeard’s borrowing of my Bearcat anecdotes. That story really happened when another partnership that I was involved with bought the property for our first development in Squaw Creek in 1978. If Bearcat did get another bottle of bourbon from Clinkenbeard, bless his soul! Clinkenbeard has missed the essence of the saga. It could have been the inspiration of a great work of fiction or better yet, a great opera. It had all of the elements: political corruption, adultery, pedophilia, homosexuality, fratricide, father-raping – and those were just on my (Shapiro’s) part! Why not? Clinkenbeard accused me of everything else. So do not despair. I have taken up the mantel and thus my opera, “Jew Boy of the Golden West” will debut soon. Of course, any resemblance to anybody living or almost dead is strictly coincidental. Packy Walker is considering coming out of retirement to conduct it. We were going to debut at the Ford, Vilar and Tang, etc., but there are not enough men’s urinals there. A mini-tease follows. Act 1 Scene 1: Curtains open to reveal our hero, Il Putzo (tenor soon to be castralto) in a prone position over a table in Judge Bone’s chambers in the mythical Land of Beagle. The judge (baritone) enters accompanied by the Raylette’s doing a time step to “Here Comes the Judge, Uh Ha, Uh Ha, Uh Ha!” The Judge (fortissimo): The Golden Rule has come down from Daddy Whore For Bucks – he zat got zee gold rules! Ha! Ha! Ha! Now Putzo, you have your choice, death by attorneys or the old Bo-Bo! Il Putzo (still tenor) I don’t want to die, so do it quickly – I just want to go to my son’s college graduation. Why don’t I get paid for eight years work, Daddy Whore for Bucks?MM (not mezzo moderato, but mean mother): Because you are a putz – you put your piece of the kingdom in for what you paid for it, four years ago. Anybody that dumb deserves nothing. (Off-stage a chorus is heard singing “The rich get richer and the moderately comfortable get going.”) But Putzo, you get paid for your gin rights because you have a deed of busts. Il Putzso’s attorney, Bernie Rapeshaw, enters singing Dave Frishberg’s famous ditty “My Attorney Bernie”: “Bernie tells me what to do, Bernie lays it on the line. Bernie says we sue, we sue. Bernie says we sign, we sign.”Il Putzo: Wait a minute, Bernie took my gin rites money, oy vey! (Strange noises are heard, and Il Putzo’s soon to be famous aria “O Sodo Mio” is heard.) Il Putzo (now a castralto) sings the lament on his way to the airport to go to his son’s graduation. Act 11 Scenes 3 – just a little bit. You will have to pay to hear the rest. Enter the evil Vilhelm Schmekle-Gonnif, who now has the key to the kingdom. (Alto castralto never had them in the first place, born a eunuch.) Schmeckle-Gonnif sings his introspective aria: “He Has Been Mocked By Machieavelli.” In the end, Schmeckle-Gonnif is caught exposing himself to several prominent courtesans and is driven from the kingdom by Daddy Whore For Bucks. Schmeckle-Gonnif was forced to wear a special suit that when he lied, he became invisible. He never was seen again.Il Putzo was heard to be playing flugel horn in a Jamaican reggae band. He had one big hit, “O Sodo Mio,” played reggae style, which became a hit and IL Putzo lived moderately comfortable ever after. End. Now back to reality: I was asked to leave Cordillera and not to return, as an armed guard was hired to keep me out – a little melodramatic, don’t you think? As in all things, it worked out for the best. Maureen and I had five glorious winters sailing the Caribbean. Lessons learned – life is the beautiful people you meet along the way: Jerry Rea (my original partner) who said, “Lezz, we don’t need those guys. We can do it ourselves.” Debbie Duley, brilliant master organizer. Taps Reynolds, a true Western character. Don Pressley, master builder. John Benton, wonderful human being who encouraged me when I was still green, and obviously I still am. And last but not least, my friend Lawrence Chadwick, who did not deserve the treatment he was given. If only I had listened to my grandfather: “The only thing you need partners for is dancing and making love, and I don’t dance!” The “rag” business and being a “former garmento,” as Clinkenbeard puts it, was not so bad. The only thing that they could take was a couple of men’s suits. Please look for my new book “Jews at Sea.” Coming soon! Les Shapiro Vail, Colorado

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