Linda Stamper Boyne: A day to give Dad his due
Vail, CO, Colorado
Dads are unsung heroes. It was pointed out to me recently that everyone talks about the mothers, but rarely mentions the dads. It’s always, “Hi, Mom!” into the television camera at sporting events. People assume that the moms are the ones primarily in charge of parenting, so our society celebrates all that is fabulous about motherhood.
If I remember correctly from high school biology class, I’m pretty sure that a man is an integral part of creating a child. Therefore, it follows that he should be present to be a father.
Fatherhood is a thankless job, except once a year on Father’s Day. This is your official reminder, by the way. Sunday’s the day. The day to thank your dad for what he’s done for you and what he’s put up with.
We humans are imperfect souls. No dad will be perfect. But through the flaws, I believe that most dads are doing the best they can to raise their kids. I believe there are certain attributes that could be considered “good dad” qualities.
If you could custom design a dad, what qualities would you include? What makes a good dad? One would assume every person would create a different designer dad, but surely there are some qualities that would go across the board.
A good dad takes on the weight of the world when his child is born, the natural instinct to protect and provide kicking in.
A good dad doesn’t take personal offense when an adolescent daughter doesn’t want to be seen getting out of his car when he drops her off at the movies, is embarrassed by what he’s wearing, rolls her eyes at nearly everything that comes out of his mouth. He just keeps telling her he loves her.
A good dad puts the well being of his kids before his own, truly making the decisions that are best for them, even if it’s not what he wants.
A good dad doesn’t yell at his teenage son when he’s getting the boy from police custody after a stupid decision lands him in jail, until he has made sure he’s okay, hugged him and told him he loves him.
A good dad steps in and helps his adult daughter put her life back in order after it falls apart.
A good dad will see an opportunity to provide a safe place for kids to play, deal with local government red tape, raise money and work hard to make it happen.
A good dad builds his girls a playhouse and a dollhouse because the ones he sees in the stores aren’t good enough and surely he can build something better.
A good dad steps in when the mother is at the end of her rope, taking over the care of the kids and giving her a break.
A good dad coaches his kids’ teams, even when he’s never played the sport and would much really rather be doing just about anything else.
A good dad is an outspoken advocate for his son when everyone has labeled him a problem child, fighting to make them understand him and look at the situation differently.
I know not everyone is fortunate enough to have a good dad. I just thank my lucky stars that my boys got one, and so did I.
My dad is a man of few words. Honestly, how could he get a word in edgewise in a household of three women? But when he does speak, it means something.
My dad is kind, generous, supportive, thoughtful and smart. He is the toughest man I know, not in a brute strength kind of way, but mentally tough. I admire his endurance, his dedication, his perseverance.
My dad taught me how to throw a Frisbee, how to shoot a basketball, how to play gin, and then when I was older, how to make the perfect gin and tonic.
He taught me how to negotiate a good price on a car and how to walk away if the terms aren’t met.
He taught me to believe in myself and how to work hard to achieve what I want.
And most importantly, he taught me by example how to recognize a good man. I love you, Dad. Happy Father’s Day.
Linda Stamper Boyne of Edwards writes weekly for the Vail Daily. She can be contacted through email@example.com